Once upon a time, while walking down a public street, an elderly gentleman was accosted by a robber who demand all of his money. The old man was indignant. “You have no right to take what is mine.” He said. The robber, a nice-looking young fellow, said, “ Look, it’s nothing personal but you are obviously well off and have all that you need, yet so many others do not. Its only right that you share.” “I am not opposed to helping people,” the gentleman replied, “but since its my money, I get to choose who I will help, and how, and when.” The robber seemed genuinely conciliatory, yet his gun did not waiver. “Sir, I am not happy with your choices. There is much change that needs to happen and people who need hope. But that is denied them by your self-centered, profit-mongering, ways. Therefore I must work on their behalf.” The gentleman warily eyed the big pistol in the robber’s hands and replied, “By “work” for them, you mean steal from me?” That’s absurd. Now let me go.” “I am not keeping you from leaving, sir,” said the robber as his gun took steady aim at the gentleman’s head. “It’s really all up to you. All you have to do is whatever I say. Besides, it’s not about me. This money will go help this lady I know who has cancer. And, there is a little girl who needs a new kidney. ” The gentleman sighed. “Look, I’ll give you ten dollars. That’s a compromise, isn’t it?” The robber carefully cocked the hammer on his pistol and sighted down the barrel. “This is non-negotiable. I am not the bad guy, here. You, with all of your money, and your abilities, and your social status, are a selfish, bigoted, racist, homophobe. Americans are suffering and you call yourself a “Christian”. “I’ll tell you what.” The gentleman was growing more irritated. “If you provide me the name of the little girl, I’ll set up a fund in her name.” After a long silence the robber reiterated, “Non-negotiable. My terms only. I am not holding you hostage. Your departure is solely your choice.” OPTIONAL ending #1. At this point the gentleman, who was really Chuck Norris, disarmed the robber, broke both of his arms, and took away his pistol, leaving him sobbing in the alley. OPTIONAL ending #2. The gentleman empties his wallet, takes of his watch and his shoes and all of his clothes except his underwear, and is then “free” to go. The robber keeps the cash, gives the watch to his Muslim friends, and the clothes to his friends in the media. The old woman and the little girl both died anyway.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Oct 2013 17:44:55 +0000
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