One conversation. One memory long since forgotten transposed over my child. One dream never fulfilled. All this sent me spirialling over the last 6 months literally into the pit if dispair. I did and said things I am not proud of. However, I AM glad I did them. I can now see what shaped the last 6 years of my life. How despiration, even when we do not have a name for it, can make us do ridiculous things. I was clinging to a love I did not have a name for. For a child that was not my own, but was me. Looking to make a childhood perfect for my daughter...not realizing for her, it already was. All these years I have been trying to make things perfect for me... through Madie. Without realizing it. But now that I know, and I know she is already happy, I can begin to heal the broken little girl in me that I found this week. And be the good mom Madie needs me to be.
Posted on: Wed, 04 Jun 2014 22:08:02 +0000
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