One day, Akpos complained to me; Tino, my elbow really hurts. I guess i should see a doctor. I told him; Dont do that. Theres a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you will do about it. It will only cost you N5,000. Akpos figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited N5,000. The computer started making some noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, it popped out a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labour. It will be better in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction, went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited N5,000. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti- fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant . . . twin girls. They arent yours. Get a lawyer. And if you dont stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better. One word for Akpos.... Good mawin pals...
Posted on: Tue, 29 Oct 2013 04:40:33 +0000
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