One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I think I need to see a doctor.” His friend said “Don’t do that, there’s a computer machine in the pharmacy that can diagnose anything quicker than waiting for a doctors appointment. All you need do is put in a urine sample, and the computer will diagnose your problem, but you need to put £2.00 in for use of it. Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a small sample bottle and headed off to the pharmacy, finding the computer he inserted his £2.00 and poured in his sample. The computer whirred, clicked and a few lights flashed. Then out popped a piece of paper which read “You have Tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy work it will be better in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it was changing the medical world, he wondered if it could be fooled so decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a small bit of dog shit, urine samples from his wife and daughter and to top it off he masturbated into it. He went back to the computer in the pharmacy inserted his £2.00 and the sample he had brought. Again the machine made it’s noises and lights flashed then out popped the piece of paper which read. Your tap water is too hard, get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm, take him to the vet. Your daughter is using cocaine, put her in for drug counselling. Your wife is pregnant…..twin girls, they aren’t yours, get a solicitor. And if you don’t stop wanking off, your elbow will never get better.
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 19:43:21 +0000
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