One day in the big city, a bar gave a costume party for Halloween. There was a large and enthusiastic turnout, including one young chap dressed as Captain James T. Kirk of 1960s TV vintage. Upon arriving this lad noticed a young woman sitting at the bar, dressed as Lieutenant Uhura of the same era, and saw what he took to be a perfect opportunity. Sidling up to the bar, he asked the lass dressed as Uhura, Can I buy you a drink? The girl replied, No, thanks, Im with someone. Glancing around the bar, not-Kirk saw no evidence that there was anyone accompanying the girl in Uhuras uniform and assumed she was giving him the gentle brush-off. He asked, Are you sure? Yes, Im sure, she said. Im here with my boyfriend. Hes very jealous and has a bad temper. I suggest you try someone else. Having a bit of the Captain in him, not-Kirk elected not to take no for an answer. He pressed, Im just saying, we seem to have something in common. Cant we even talk? The Uhura-clad girl said, No, we cant. Not if you know whats good for you. Youd really better leave or I wont be responsible for what happens. But not-Kirk refused to be discouraged. He held out his hand, inviting, Look, just one dance, you and me, thats all Im asking. The girl in Uhuras uniform was now losing her patience and getting very nervous. Listen, she said, my boyfriend has gone to the bathroom. Hes taking a while because of his costume, but youd better not be here when he gets back. I hate the way he gets when another guy comes around me, so youd better move on, please! Not-Kirk shook his head, not understanding and not really believing what she was saying, convinced that she was just showing that she wasnt a pushover. If hes going to be a while, he asked, whats the harm...? Suddenly, the red-uniformed girl glanced over not-Kirks shoulder and her eyes bulged. In a voice of alarm she said, Oh no! Dont say I didnt warn you...! Not-Kirk turned and looked behind him and had just that long to see what must have been a hugely built football linebacker type under a scaly green costume that was the very image of the alien that real Kirk battled in the first-season episode Arena. Before not-Kirk could even react, not-Uhuras reptilian date had him by the collar and hoisted him off the floor, roaring while not-Uhura flinched back and other partiers scattered around them from the sudden display of scaly wrath. Before not-Kirk knew what had hit him, he had been slammed bodily to the floor of the bar, dragged to the door, and thrown across the sidewalk to the curb. The last thing he heard was the plaintive voice of the girl in Uhuras uniform crying, I warned you! After several painful minutes, the lad who wasnt Kirk decided the better part of valor was to pick himself up and find another party. As he staggered down the street, he took with him one sure and certain lesson that none of us should ever forget: Hell hath no fury like a womans Gorn.
Posted on: Fri, 31 Oct 2014 21:06:48 +0000
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