One of the blessings of old age is that, by the time youre headed that way, youve finally figured some things out. I havent yet had to face the failure of my body--just its aches and pains, like getting up yesterday from a chair and needing an oil can. I have lost my parents, my in-laws, a sister, two nephews and good friends. You have, doubtless, lost many, too, and the older we get, the more times we have to say goodbye. I have regrets, times when I have failed not only myself, but those I love. I know regrets are useless. What is done cannot be undone, Shakespeare reminds us, by way of his bloody and bloodied king. The only way to deal with regrets is to offer forgiveness to oneself, the hardest person of all to forgive. Well, that, and, knowing we are unworthy of love, trying still to be worthier. The older I get, the more I believe in redemption. If I can pick myself up and do a little better, why shouldnt I assume the same of you? Perhaps the greatest charity we can offer another is the benefit of the doubt. But what I think Ive figured out most of all is that I have to work really hard to dislike people (I cant think of anyone whose face Ive seen up close or whose heart I can imagine that I hate, though there are a couple of wounds I nurse and not all of us are compatible). I guess what it boils down to is this: what joy is there in wishing ill for anyone? For those who are careless of others (I love that word, careless, to wreak havoc, but have all the debris fall behind you with no attempt to pick up any of the pieces or patch anything youve broken or torn apart), who among us is the one who can make them care? Do I (or you) have the energy? Shouldnt energy be spent in making, making amends, making a poem, a song, a cake, a garden, a home, a house, a bridge, a spreadsheet, in trying to make some order so that when it is our time to go, we like the story we leave behind? Do any of us have so few regrets that we are able to sit in judgment? Its all over so soon. Its all so very, very fragile. As Red Green puts it every Saturday night: Im pulling for you. Were all in this together.
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 15:04:02 +0000
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