One of the core problems of failed relationships lies in the tendency to look to one’s partner, rather than themselves, to heal their shortcomings and create happiness. When we relinquish ownership of our deficits, we develop unrealistic expectations of our partner and shift responsibility for our personal development onto the wrong source, creating vulnerability for relationship failure. While there is no guaranteed formula for preventing the breakdown of a relationship, there are ways to protect it. Developing your personal identity and sense of security will contribute immeasurably to building a stable partnership. Consider the following steps to develop your personal power. 1. Do not succumb to helplessness. Don’t allow your frustrations to convince you that you need your partner to solve your problems for you. Depend on yourself where possible. 2. Value your worth. Put your efforts into substituting praise for self-criticism. Your value must come from within, not from your partner. 3. Be intentional about your relationship. Step up! Don’t sit back and wait for your partner to do all the work. 4. Be a good listener. Identify your own needs and pay attention to your partner’s as well. 5. Learn to take care of you. The biggest challenge of autonomy is giving up the idea that someone else will take care of you and make everything better. Take responsibility of governing your own life. 6. Be truthful…to your partner and yourself. Admit when you are wrong, forgetful, or when you make a mistake. Developing confidence will help you handle failure and find new solutions. 7. Spend some time alone. This will help you achieve balance and maintain contact with your own goals.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 18:48:33 +0000
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