One thing Ive learn with absolute certainty is that when youre out in public, no matter how sly or incognito a person believes he or she is being, someone is always watching. It is imperative that you be on your best behavior so be really careful and mindful of your actions. Now, there are a few things that are considered less than sketchy, at best. For instance, you could probably get away with a quick pick of the nose or perhaps a subtle fart. You might even be able to run your fingers underneath your armpits and sniff them and not much will be said. Probably. BUT!!!!! Let me tell you what you cant do and no matter what excuse you have, it just wont be accepted. Not even by Jesus himself. Im talking about digging in your booty. Let me share with you all a story from this morning. So I go to one of our fine establishments this morning and while headed to the freezer, I glance over and see this guy scratching his butt. Not the cheeks. Not the area above the cheeks. Not the the portion below the butt. This is a full-on, no money down, no credit check needed, +17, viewer discretion advised, insertion of the fingers (yes, all 4 of them). Granted, it was outside the clothes, but still. AND, to top it off, it wasnt just a regular scratch. He had a 26 degree bend at the knees, his veins in his neck were bulging and Im pretty sure I heard him moan. I cant say for certain, but I think there was some thumb action as well. There are only three reasons that would cause a person to damn near give themselves a backdoor hysterectomy in public. 1) You have hemorrhoids. 2) fleas. 3) your booty nasty. However, I digress. You all have a happy day.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 12:44:55 +0000
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