One year ago I returned to Sweden from Japan, bested and broken by what had been my goal for some three years. The anxiety I have been feeling was explained as I was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, in my case meaning I cant shake the feeling that I have already, or will ruin someone elses or my own life. Halfway into the year I decided to quit breaking, feeling I no longer enjoyed the dance very much. This also meant I let go of a big part of my identity. I now have no idea about what Im supposed to do or who I am. Only that its probably not what all those ordinary happy-looking people are doing. Not buying happiness(?) at the price of integrity. Seeing that there are people who appreciate me for being me, when I feel the world doesnt, makes it all worth it for me. When I feel like everything I lay my hands on turns to shit, I can regain a lot of self-esteem by thinking When such awesome people want to be friends with me I must be quite alright. Thank you, especially Henrik Queckfeldt, Victor Lindell, Jayeon Lee, Lacerna Mae, Martin Säfsten, Ricky Chau, Daniel Drake, Jonte Carlsson
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 01:33:32 +0000
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