(Owing to a staff shortage this article is brought to you by Melanie Phillips) The new James Bond novel is also the first to be set on Teesside. Called Fry Another Day, it features Bond working undercover as a bouncer in the Bongo who subsists on a diet of parmos and kebab scrapings (and as such will no doubt be a future burden to the NHS). In one scene Bond throws his chips to one side and pursues the villain (who seems to hold down no regular job and is therefore probably on benefits as he hatches his world domination plans) across the Tees and ends up chasing him on a mobility scooter through Port Clarence in a thrilling low-speed chase, thwarted only by some single mothers doing a fag run. It becomes increasingly apparent that the villain is an illegal immigrant and state sponger whose reign of terror will only end when Bond finishes his hotshot parmo and tells the dole office.
Posted on: Wed, 23 Jul 2014 07:51:10 +0000
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