PARROTHEADS The past few days have been devoted to Parrotheads, the mobile fans of Jimmy Buffett who carbon footprint their way down in pickup-trucks with overinflated tires to the Mecca that is Key West for a celebratory week homage to their hero. Obviously, Jimmy Buffett is a very clever man, by anyone’s standards the dude has made a fortune. But since his product is the musical equivalent of a Trailer Park, and attracts those who dwell in them, his tribe is a shabby lot. Meanwhile, you won’t see the likes of Jimmy Buffett in their midsts. A nuance entirely lost on the flock. Every year a murky rumor drifts through the throngs, “Jimmy Buffett is here!” And so the Chinese whisper gathers momentum. Every year the fans are disappointed, but never disheartened. They come in couples, with matching outfits and they all wear shirts with a parrot motif. Many walk around barefoot because they want to believe they are “in Paradise,” just like it says in the song. Speaking of the songs, the less said the better. I walked all over town and it was an All You Can Eat Jimmy Buffett Buffet. Worse, his fans, whistle with fingers in their mouths at every opportunity, piercing and eardrum shattering. I scurried fast through hallowed halls of entertainment, skittering quickly away from the bouquet of Buffett fans. I would rather go to jail than spend my Saturday night listening to one more lick. So I did. I paid a visit to the ladies in the local Detention Center. It was a pleasure to see them, plenty new faces to me but some diehards who with luck see glimmers of hope on the horizons of their cases. There is this one lady who has existed here twenty-two months, defying the state mandate of a maximum one year stay. She is in for murder but the prosecution has no case because there is no evidence. Because, as she tells it, she is innocent. Her waist long straight hair is grey to the shoulder while the tails still hold a memory of gloss, of a luxuriant blonde from two years ago. I saw her eyes well when I secretly passed her a book of stamps. I do not believe she is guilty of murdering her husband. She tells me she might be released no later than February, all charges dropped. Which would sort of prove her innocence. In essence the state is suggesting she is a criminal mastermind of epic proportions who has pulled off ‘The Perfect Murder’. A complicated two-step with the penal system. The creative writing class was a boisterous exchange and soon everyone in the room was falling apart from laughter. You gotta get arrested in this town to have a good time, some times.
Posted on: Sun, 03 Nov 2013 22:25:47 +0000
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