Parenting Is A Full Time Job (Not A Wedding Invitation) We transition according to responsibilities acquired, Boys become men, Men turn into fathers, Girls become women, Women turn into mothers, Sometimes it happens without permission, Then again, We shouldn’t be lowering expectations, So many times I hear, ‘I ain’t ready to be a father, I ain’t ready to be a mother’, You don’t got a choice, Next time pay more attention to opening Quran, Not opening or unzipping your pants, Fathers wanting to hang with friends, Mothers wanting to attend weddings, Anas (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said, ‘Among the women of this world, Only these four are enough: Maryam bint Imran; Aasiya, The wife of Fir’aun; Khadija bint Khuwalid, And… Fatima (RA)’, (Hadith No. 4447, Musnad Abdullah Bin Masood, Musnad Ahmad Hambal, Vol. 2). Why? What made these women special? Did they listen to ego? Attend parties? Simple answer, All of them, Were mothers, Looking at women today, Watching Muslimah pursue professional careers, Watching Muslimah pursue short-term pleasure, At the cost of children’s upbringing, Some say, Why are you stopping women from pursuing ambitions? My answer simple, In Islam it is not allowed to do so, At the cost of your primary responsibilities, If a women leaves kids unattended at home, Whether maids present or not, Such a career should be abandoned, Don’t believe me, Simple question… Would Fatima (ra) leave her child unattended at home? How about Khadija (ra)? The next question, ‘How about husbands’, You don’t expect us to let our husbands do whatever they want, You don’t expect us to sit at home while husbands work, My answer, Yes, At least when it comes to, Who works and who takes care of the children, Read Quran, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, Because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, And because they spend from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient, And guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard. As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, Admonish them (first), (then) refuse to share their beds… But if they return to obedience, Seek not against them means. Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.” (Aayah No. 34, Surah An-Nisa’, Chapter No. 4, Qur’an) Modern methods take away what Allah (s.w.t) decreed Men in charge of putting food on the table, Making sure electricity, water, and heat working all year around, Women take care of the household when the man is not present, Making sure children well fed, Wedding, Easy solution, Take your child, Show family and friends, Introduce children to new people, New tastes, New smells, If you are selfish, Want to have a good time, Don’t pro-create, Obligations switch, Change, Abdullah bin Amr (ra) reported that Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said, “It is sufficient for a person to be sinful, That he be negligent to those who he (is responsible for) feeding.” (Hadith No. 1692, Book of Zakat, Sunan Abu Dawud, Vol. 2) Mothers, Fathers, It is negligent to forget or ignore children, If you were not ready for it, Fear Allah (s.w.t), Wear protection, Don’t put on a ring on it, Not only are parents not ready, Mothers and fathers complain about duties, Fathers complain about work, His wife is always angry, Lack of pleasure and compassion in marriage, Wife complains he isn’t listening, Husband does not help out around the house, Being honest, Both of you are wrong, I am told, You don’t understand, You don’t know what it is like, I don’t need to, All I would have to do is relate hadith, Narrated by Ali (RA): Fatima (RA) went to the Prophet (PBUH) complaining about her sufferings, And hurts from the stone hand mill on her hands. She heard that the Prophet (PBUH) had received a few slave girls. But she did not find him, So she mentioned her problem to Aishah (RA). When the Prophet (PBUH) came, Aishah (RA) informed him about that. Ali (RA) added: So the Prophet (PBUH) came to us when we had gone to bed. We wanted to get up, But he said, “Stay where you are.” Then he came and sat between me and her, And I felt the coldness of his feet on my abdomen. He said, “Shall I direct you to something better than what you have requested for? When you go to bed, Say ‘Subhan Allah‘ thirty-three times, ‘Alhumdolillah‘ thirty-three times, And ‘Allahu Akbar‘ thirty-four times, For that is better for you than a servant.” (Hadith No. 5361, Book of Provision, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 7) Fatima (ra) did not receive servants, She was Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) daughter, What do you expect to receive? Husband does not share the load, Does not equally help around the house, Follow hadith, Do as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) instructed, For each of us on the day of judgment, Will receive his and her punishment, What shall we teach sons and daughters? Should we teach them, Whose Nicki Minaj? How to twerk? How to cook? What qualities to look for in a husband? “O my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, And though it be in a rock, Or in the heavens, Or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily, Allah is Subtle, Well-Aware.” O my son! Perform the Salat, Enjoin Al-Maruf, And forbid (people) from Al-Munkar, And bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily, these are some of the important commandments. And turn not your face away from men with pride, Nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not any arrogant boaster. And be moderate in your walking, And lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the asses.” (Aayah No’s 16 to 19, Surah Luqman, Chapter No. 31, Qur’an) We should teach, Who is Allah (s.w.t)? Where is Allah (s.w.t)? What is patience? How do we show it? What are calamities?? What do we enjoin? What do we forbid? What voice should we speak in? How high? How low? Can we teach these to our children, If we are more worried about going out for ladies night? If we are more worried about going out for guys night? Can we teach these to our children, If we are more concerned with taking Instagram selfies? If we are more concerned with wearing whats in fashion instead of covering? Nothing worse for a child, Then an abusive father, Nothing worse for a child, Then a naked and immodest mother whose wearing clothes, Parenting is about disciplining yourself, Not being soft when time calls for strictness, Parents forgetting to raise kids, What does it take? How do we teach children about praying? Sabrah bin Ma’bad Al-Juhni (ra) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said, “Teach the boy Salat when he is seven years old, And beat him (if he does not pray) when he is ten.” (Hadith No. 407, Chapters on Salat, Jami’ At-Tirmidhi, Vol. 1) We are allowed to discipline, Don’t leave marks, But give your child a good whooping, Mother who cares about tv and fashion trends, Father who cares about sports and news, Will never raise a child strong in deen, If none of this struck a chord, If none of this was clear, Narrated Ibn Umar (RA): The Prophet (PBUH) said, “All of you are guardians and are responsible for your words. The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family; The lady is a guardian and is responsible for her husband’s house and his off-spring; And so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards.” (Hadith No. 5200, Book of Nikah, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 7) If this does not work, If you are not enlightened, I tell you, Attend all weddings for short-term pleasure, Have perfect attendance on guys night out, So be it, If your kid grows up not fearing Allah (s.w.t), Becomes the player type with women, Become the hoe everyone knows in school, It is a reflection on your parenting skills…
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 00:43:47 +0000
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