People look at me and may see a very secure independent person, but that is so far from the truth. I struggle with self image, how and what people think off as a person/mom/nurse. I have noticed lately that I am not myself. The goofy fun going person who loves to dance and laugh. I have benn going through a lot the past three years and holding it together takes so much of me. I spend way to much time in my life questioning who I am. Well today I stopped by work to drop off bingo prizes for our residents. Well while I was there I was asked if I had time to read the bible to a resident who happens to be on hospice and is not doing so well. This person has the same diagnosis that my father Tom Zervos had and since this persons admission I would cry at times on my way home feeling god is testing me. I sat down today and read the parts of the New Testament.i do not attend church but strongly believe in god. Today was the first time I picked up a bible in years. Today was a one of many changing moment filled days that makes me proud of who I am. Now if I could just hold onto that for longer then a day. This resident told me today I have been part of their dreams and how thankful they are that I was willing to read to her. I am not a perfect person or have perfect kids, but I am trying my best to be a GOOD mom. I want to be good and positive example for my kids. I just hope amongst all the chaos in our lives they know how much I love them and will always be there for them.
Posted on: Fri, 01 Nov 2013 18:29:24 +0000
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