Perhaps I was closer to my mother than I ever even realized. I miss her laugh and the 2 hour long conversations shed have on the phone with friends and family. I miss her advice and non-caring attitude about what people thought. I hate thinking about what she went through throughout the years of her being sick. But when I do think of it, I understand how strong she was, cause she never really complained or brought it up. She kept it inside and allowed us to experience her as a normal mother. Even when you knew she wasnt feeling well and she knew she wasnt feeling well, she would suck it up. And maybe we (her children/family) would overlook it a little bit because we didnt want to admit it to ourselves. We just wanted our normal mother. That same mother who would play kickball and baseball with us when we were younger. That mother who took us on picnics and to the library to watch free movies during the summer. That mother who would blast Elton John on the car radio when dropping you off to school, embarrassing the crap out of you. That mother that saw talent in you and encouraged whatever haywire endeavors you were interested in that week. That mother that would always have snack laid out on the table when you got home from school. That mother that always, ALWAYS fought battles right by her kids side (figuratively and literally). My mother and I bumped heads sometimes. She liked to laugh and turn everything into a joke. I always took everything seriously. Ive lightened up a little bit over the past few years. I wish she was still here to continue teaching me that life doesnt always have to be so heavy. Sometimes a bit of laughter is all you need. I truly believe that for many of those last few years, laughter was her primary choice of medicine. And it kept her.
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 13:49:00 +0000
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