Please, Lets be friends for NOW, you can love me LATER! While younger, in my secondary school days, anytime I saw a beautiful girl that caught my fancy, I approach and tell her straight that I LOVE HER! Experience has shown me that the approach was childishly wrong. How could I have claimed to love someone I never knew? You have to KNOW me before you LOVE me! Knowledge is a large constituent of love; the more you know a person, the better equipped you are to love him/her. True love is first evolutionary, before it is revolutionary. Revolutionary love is the kind that takes your world by storm, sweeps you off your feet and turns your world right side up. When most of us claim we are looking for love, this romantic elixir is what we are yearning for. The truth however is that even if you find revolutionary love,it seldom lasts because it isn’t practically sustainable. What most of us fail to realize is that, the Hollywood directors, actors and romantic writers who have so publicized revolutionary love,won’t be struggling with their relationships, if they really understood what love was about. The practical alternative to revolutionary love is evolutionary love. This is the cool, calm collected, procedural and gradual realization of your affection for someone, most likely a friend, that has being in your life all along. The reason why this works is because it is built on F-R-I-E-N-D-S-H-I-P. Friendship not showmanship is the most realistic foundation for lasting love. Everything else is a farce. Unfortunately most of us turn down the opportunity to develop intimate love with our best friends, because we are blinded by over-familiarity. While Im certainly not against love at first sight, I believe that it should be Attraction at first sight initially before love sets in. The fact that you have common interest doesnt mean you have a common aspiration. Why is friendship crucial to the evolution of our love lives? 1. FRIENDSHIP ELIMINATES PROBABILITY IN YOUR PARTNERS PERSONALITY. In other words you aren’t guessing who they are as you know them well. Nowadays, we see people marrying in a haste as if theres a prize attached to marrying early. They then discover after marriage that they were total strangers who had no business being together, not to talk of living together! They forgot that IT TAKES TIME TO KNOW A PERSON, AS THERE ARE SEVERAL SIDES TO EVERY INDIVIDUAL. A friend knows you in-and-out, he already knows your likes and dislikes, principles, goals etc. Marrying a stranger means you might discover her true nature after marriage making you trapped with the wrong person for the rest of your life. 2. FRIENDSHIP IS THE PERFECT ENVIRONMENT FOR ORIGINITY AND LESS PRETENCE. We all know that it doesn’t take any effort to be yourself around your friends. The pressure to pretend isn’t present in the best of friendships. You seldom have to impress your friends, you’re just you around them. If you’re broke, angry or depressed, you won’t need to hide it from your friends. I am persuaded that this lack of authenticity is why many relationships fail. EVERYBODY PRETENDS UNDER OBSERVATION hence, the desire and pressure to impress our lovers can be one of the most emotionally draining activities in love. You won’t have to do this, if you will simply settle for your friend. 3. A TRUE FRIEND HAS YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART AND CONTRIBUTE POSITIVELY TO YOUR VISION. This is one of the greatest antidotes to selfishness. When you settle for your friend in love,such a person would already have developed the habit over the years of acting in your best interest and habits die hard. Selfishness therefore can’t come natural to them, because they’ve spent most of their lives watching out for you and they are least likely to stop now that you’ve become their lover. 4. A REAL FRIEND WILL TRULY LOVE YOU FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE. Real friends are into you and not what you have or accomplished. Today, the news is replete about celebrity breakups and divorces. One reason however is because they marry for their status, whereas the partner has to deal with their person. A stranger WILL most likely run away when you lose all! If they are into you as a friend before anything came along, they will most likely be with you, long after they are gone,if ever they were gone. 5. A TRUE FRIEND TAKES PRIDE AND PLEASURE IN YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS AND DOES NOT SEE YOU AS A FELLOW COMPETITOR OR FAILURE. He will not be jealous of your successes but spur you on. Most wives build houses without their husband knowing because if he does, he will frustrate the goal. 6. A TRUE FRIEND ENCOURAGES YOU TO GO BEYOND YOUR LIMITS AND BREAK NEW GROUNDS. He will partner with you to make a success of your life. He will help validate and invigorate your plans and goals. 7. A TRUE FRIEND WILL ENJOY YOUR COMPANY AND WANT TO BE WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES. He will be so fond of you that he misses and wishes to be with you all the time. He is so proud of you and wants you to meet his friends and acquaintances. 8. HE REFRAINS FROM WHAT EVER MAKES YOU UNHAPPY. The beauty of friendship is that no matter how sad we are; they tend to make us smile as a temporary relief. 9. HE GIVES TO YOU ENTHUSIASTICALLY, NOT MINDING THE COST. He happily shares all he has with you, including his time and resources. 10. HE OVERLOOKS YOUR FAULTS AND CONCENTRATE ON YOUR STRENGTH. Proverbs 18:24 says ...but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. All of the above has made me an advocate of long friendships,short courtships and early marriages. Make up your mind to insist on an extensive and an intensive friendship before love. The resulting stability will guarantee fulfillment in your love life for decades to come. Good morning
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 08:04:27 +0000
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