Please Read Friends and Family!!!! I guess I will have to be the one that does this, as my husband really isnt and leaving me to not only deal with it and the shock of it, but where I made my life his and made my career his and moved into his house and moved my son to be with him, meaning made my whole life his, I am really the only one thats having to tell the world for whatever reason. Im not going to paint a bad picture for him as i know he would do the same for me, or I would hope he wouldnt. I dont want sympathy from this, and my husband really doesnt need it either as this was his decision only, as I would have and was willing to fight for our family and when I took my vows less than 2 years ago I meant them and knew he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I also have a son who looked to him as a major Dad role and this is where its the hardest for me. I was a step mom, but his kid had a Mom and Dad on a regular basis and I was just an extra person that loved him the same. My son was more involved with Terry and Terry played more of Father figure that my son looked up too. I am not writing this again to cause drama, or start anything, my husband is still on my facebook and I am fully aware he will read this, and I dont want him becoming mad because of it, I am writing it cause not only do I want the world to know, but I want them to know what my family is going through, and I havent really told anyone yet and I really dont want to explain it over and over, as I am still dealing and have a lot on my plate right now with trying to be strong. I may be the strongest person you know, but I have my moments and I have never hurt more than what I am right now. Terry has decided he wants a divorce. We have been together for 6 years and have created a beautiful family. One that I never knew would be taken from me. Or from my son. We have had our problems, but nothing that couldnt get worked out or be worked on. Not every relationship is perfect and not everyone is happy at all times. Believe me I am as shocked as you all are reading this!!! And still cant believe its happening. Every day I wake up I wake up and tell myself is this really happening? Is this for real? Yes it is. And every day gets harder but gets easier. I will always love this man cause this is who I seen the rest of my life with. There was things he didnt like about me, and there was things I didnt like about him. Not going into detail about them things. But we dated for 4 years before we got married less than 2 years ago. We knew each other. So I have a hard time chalking up the fact he married me knowing this is what I felt was forever. Cause I only wanted married once. And if I married you, I saw forever and couldnt imagine being with anybody else. And thats what I saw. For the last year he says he has been unhappy. But never really fully communicated this to me, or really sat me down and let me know he was thinking this direction. We lived a normal life and have many good memories from it and moments I will treasure. I felt we had more good than bad. We fought, but who doesnt? We worked together, and this is where I felt ruined us. Reguardless, counseling and other measures could have fixed us. You exhaust more options, even seperation, before you say DIVORCE. And again l had no idea this was even on the table. But he wasnt willing to try, and wasnt willing to get us the help. As I was. I felt our family deserved more, I deserved more, our kids deserved more, we deserved more. You dont just give up like he did. And he did give up. He gave up on me about a year ago, and giving me any attention. But we still interacted and pushed all that aside. I was willing to do that. But I knew we needed help and I was getting that help and started that this winter. I was in counseling and eventually wanted it to be a marriage counseling. I was willing to try and fix what was broken and hopefully fix each others needs that one another wanted, thats what we vowed to do, and married people do that and fight for love through thick and thin. But I didnt get that option, he didnt want counseling, he didnt want help, he didnt want to fix this. He just wanted out. And I feel like he selfishly kept to himself all this year about how untruly happy he was and never made me understand where his feelings were heading. And like overnight, made the decision yes he wanted out. Im still in complete shock. I have begged and pleaded. I was not getting any where. It has come along way, and I am dealing and accepting. I just have a hard time accepting how one can love more than the other, and two people that love each other cant fight for each other? You love me, but dont love me enough to fight for us and our family? This is where I dont feel loved enough and I will have trust and emotional problems from this all. But I am moving on, and I dont really want to talk about it. I want you all to know together, so me and Terry can get this divorce going........and not have to explain ourselves over and over. We know alot of people and I know everyone will want answers and wants to know whats going on, and for me to deal I cant keep explaining it. I wish I could give you all a better answer on why we are divorcing, apart of me wanted to not have to tell anyone so terry would have to do all the explaining and maybe everyone would get a better explanation than I got. I know there is people that will read this and have negative to take from it.And thats exactly what we both dont need. Again my husband is on my facebook and will read this too, so I dont have to lie. And he knows this is the truth and I have nothing to hide. And I am sure he doesnt either, for those of you that knew us better yes I know why we had our problems, and thats between me and Terry alone. Doesnt need to be dragged out on Facebook. So that doesnt have to be blasted. I am giving a brief look at whats going on. Cause people and family and customers have a right to know. I hate this man for what he has done, and I hate him for breaking up a family and taking my life and making it his,and I am having to start completely over, and not fighting for me when I obviously love this man more than he did me. But he is a nice guy and does care about me, as I do him, and we are being cordial and still talking and dealing the best we know how under the circumstances, for our sanity and our kids well being. I just felt the world needed to know more than what they do, so we dont have to keep going back and fourth with the ups and downs and emotions. Which is more me right now.That part is exhausting and I have alot going on right now and dont have the time. I appreciate everyone who has reached out to me. I have more friends than I thought and question the ones I felt were more my friends. I have had two incredible ladies message me yesterday that barely know me and have made me feel more at ease since this all happened and making me feel I can do this and that I do have people backing me up and here for me as I havent felt this.As I have tried keeping this all to myself. One who experienced herself and I feel will help me more than she knows. And last night she really turned my thinking around. So thanks to Tessa Eastin and Ashley Belloir . I really am getting to see the true meaning of being friends and how friends are supposed to be there for you. And I appreciate you all and all that have messaged me. My family has been my rock, Stayci Bockoven and Jerad Gwillim has been great and really there for me. And I appreciate you guys. My whole family has been a big help and support system, without them I couldnt move on. They have seen me at my worse, and every day its still a challenge. I still cry alot. And my emotions are all over the place. I have done my best to avoid people in general while I am dealing right now, but unfortunately I had to go to walmart to get some necessities. I ran into a girlfriend, and I just lost it. Every day I feel more confident and thought I was ready, I am not. This isnt going to be easy. But I am a strong person, and I will get through this. Again this is not for attention, this is not for sympathy this is not a stab at Terry, this is the reality and this is the truth. And all there is to it, and no one will get more details from it, so please know this is it and dont ask. And I cant fully move on, and deal until the world knows, and not sure when Terry was going to come out with it, but what better way than you all to see it in writing and me not have to explain it over and over and that way I can start to heal and move on. For me and my sons sake. For him and his sons sake. Alot of hearts are being broken in this process and I am at my lowest right now. I am not going to tag Terry in this because if he decided he wants to share this on his page for his friends and family to read than thats fine. But I will give him that option. But for me, I needed to come out with it as I have alot of people messaging me as to whats going on. And this is MY friends and family page so I get the right to tell. Please I wont be on here to answer questions cause there isnt anything to tell other than I have just mentioned, and I cant accomplish anything by being on here all day when I really have alot to do and going on and dont want to feedback all day. I wanted to tell you all and get it out so I dont have to keep explaining, please leave encouragement or positiveness to help us ALL move on, Terry and his son included. Cause that all we need right now with all the stress. Terry included. Negativeness is not an option for me any more or that is not what I want from all this, so please leave those comments to yourself or just delete me. I am hurting, I am torn, I am as honest and awake as I have ever been, so please dont sympathize for the situation just sympathize what we all, terry included, and our kids included are going through. Thanks
Posted on: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 17:17:01 +0000
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