Please read this carefully i was raped by my best friend boyfriendWe have known each other for overseven years, he is dating my best friend, who I have known my wholelife. One crazy drunken weekend 2 years ago he pulled me into a roomand tried to rape me, while we were at a vacation house with our friends. I screamed and fought.. he held me down tightly onto a bed and slipped his hand between my legs. I cried and squirmed.. I eventually got away. Later that night he tried again, I told him I didn’t want to sternly but it didn’t matter.We never talked about until one night when we were all at a party and he told me that he never told anyone about that night and that he still wants me. I didn’t make a scene because our mutual friends were there. I told him that it affected me terribly but I have put it all behind me and hoped to forget about that night and all his intentions.Now, three nights ago he came over with my best friend and two of his friends. My BFF had to step out for 2 hours and she told him she would meet us back at my place. When she left he pulled me into a bathroom and tried to kiss me. I screamed and kicked him. His friends were on the patio seemingly unaware of what was happening.He lifted me up and placed me ontop of the bathroom counter. I started to reason with him about my love for my best friend and the discomfort and pain this would bring.He wasn’t bothered or moved.He used his hands .. until I bled.. I cried and screamed but he only pushed harder. The more I fought the stronger he got.I am trying to push this out of my head.. I can’t tell anyone because my closest friends are also his mutual closest friends. Not to mention my BFF.. I am afraid of theawkwardness that it would bring. And I just want to forget about it and pray that it never happens again. I feel sick and sad and the hardest part of is being normal around him now.. when my BFF came back to my place I faked a smile and tried to avoid him… whenever I went inside he followedme in and tried to interfere with me as much as he could.I never thought that someone I trust and consider would hurt me like this, I remember telling him it’sjust another p**** that it isn’t worth the consequence and he justkept saying that he wanted me. Thesick thing is that he wanted me to kiss him and he kissed me all over..I just didn’t fight anymore.. I cried and waited for it to be over. And for this reason I blame myself, I think about if I fought harder or screamed louder.. I can’t tell anyone because it is painfully and embarrassing to tell the people we both know.What should I do? How do I deal with this without affecting anyone around me?
Posted on: Mon, 16 Sep 2013 20:26:05 +0000
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