Post Oscar thoughts: Ellen DeGeneres is a soft cuddly moppet and a total bore. Give me a cynical fratboy like Seth MacFarlane or a snarky curmudgeon like Ricky Gervais who can stir up controversy and skewer Hollywood at the same time. Would we all be taking about Lupita Nyongo class and beauty and passion if she were a skinny white girl from the Yale Drama school? I think not. #racistpraise. Great dress though. John Travolta – spend less time getting hair plugs and face lifts and more time getting Lasik and practicing your lines. Idina Menzel – Good save. Great voice. But you still leave me frozen. Bono – you gave the best musical performance of the night. Your voice is actually improving with age. Bette Midler – when did you become such a smiley bobble-head of the gesticulation school of song? NB – if you’re pitchy and can no longer hit the high notes then let someone else sing your smaltzy, sentimental song. Pink – breathe. But not in the middle of a word. Oh! Vey! The rainbow. Kim Novack – Can you open this beer bottle for me? John Ridley – if you’re going to openly snub the director of your film in front of a billion people then you must tell us why at the after party. Matthew McConnaughy – don’t speak. Don’t ever speak.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Mar 2014 22:06:03 +0000
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