@ProsperElechi: It was an incident that threw residents of a highbrow area in Lagos into confusion because the suicide victim was seen as an upwardly mobile young man with a beautiful family and a palatial home. So, what could have made such a man (who seemed to have it all) take his own life?A few people that are privy to his issues claimed that his business hadlong taken a downturn (debts here and there). They also claimed that what made things worse was that his wife refused to come down fromher high horse of ‘living large’.He was said to have suggested they move into a cheaper accommodation but she refused and told him that she would not allow him to make her a laughing stock. Even his suggestion that they change the children’s school to a cheaper one met with a brick wall. The woman believed that he kept some money somewhere, which he simply didn’t want to bring out. All these (plus whatever else that’s only known to the deceased) led to some friction in their home, to the extent that husband and wife were barely on talking terms as at the time he took his life.Stories like these make me give a ‘thumbs up’ to a good friend. Her four kids were enrolled in a ‘high brow’ school in Lagos. But when her husband’s business became shaky and they went from paying their children’s school fees in instalments to inability to pay on time resulting in ‘refusal of entry’ at the school gate, she told herself the bitter truth–some adjustments needed to be made.She withdrew her kids from a primary school where they paid close to a million naira per child andenrolled them in a moderately priced school. She told me that the initial ‘draw back’ was that her kids could not seem to cope with the volume of academic work the new school gave to them. They also missed the expensive excursions (in their former school) and parties that often required different dress codes. Mercifully, her children have adjusted now.On her own part, she said that the new status quo was quite a challenge because she felt she would lose face before her fellow ‘rich men’s wives’ in her kids’ formerschool. She said that it got so bad initially that she avoided taking the route to the school for a while but when she convinced herself that shewas not in competition with anybody, she embraced her reality and began to live her life freely.I have always said that life will become less stressful, if we understand the fact that we are not in competition with anybody. How you think others perceive your status in life is purely your opinion -most people don’t care. People onlybegin to notice you when you start being in ‘their face’ with your ostentatious lifestyle. That explains why such ‘down falls’ can’t go without attention. For some reasons, it is easier for a woman to make her man embrace a change in fortune than it is for a man to make his woman do same. Maybe it’s hightime you realised that you are in competition with nobody and learn to conduct your affairs in like manner!
Posted on: Mon, 16 Sep 2013 17:20:41 +0000