Psalm73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail , but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 1Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. You know I have seen so much hate over the past week . You know Im so broken I couldnt even tell you what I posted a while back . If I said things that people didnt agree with, Im very sorry . Things have gotten way out of hand . The truth is a very handsome young man is no longer here. We , his family our in mourning, Not only have I lost a son, my daughter Brooke Mackenzie Coatney has lost a brother and Spencer and Trent as well. Brooke and Trent have to go to school. It will be 7 weeks tomorrow that Blake has been gone, feels like an eternity for us! No one can even fathom our pain so to sit there and pick me apart and judge me for everything that Ive posted or said that I may have said out of anger , I wish you would take a step back. Because I wish I could turn back time, I wish I never went to Tennessee to see my mom, I wish Blake had never gone to that party and him and me had went to a movie . His dad wishes when he talked to Blake that very day , that he would of said hey son, when I get off I would like to hang out and see a movie..So many things I wish I would have done differently to make sure that day never happened but it did!! I am for certain that my son knew he was loved by his family !! He knew that I loved him with all my heart! So I have no guilt there. And Ive learned I cant make people have consciousness! I cant control how people our going to act. I can only control myself and my children . Any posts that I have seen negative that someone has posted about me that is my FB friend I have confronted and apologized and tried to make things right with them. I cant make people have remorse. But one thing is for certain until you walk a day in my shoes, please quit judging me. Its sad that my daughter has to see people say Im sick, that I need to be committed, that I need to have my other kids taken away from me, just horrible things that a 13 year old girl that just lost her brother cant even grieve because she is so upset about the things that people are saying about her mom . Just like Blake was one of my best friends so is Brooke.My daughter has more class and dignity than anyone I know. She walks the Halls of Ashford High with her head held up high with a smile on her face and love in her heart!! She cheers with Blakes ex and is not mean but kind to her at practice. She knows what people , some people that she may consider a friend say, but just like Ive raised her she says nothing to them. She has to come home and see her mom crying all the time and sleeping in her brothers bed and how I try to be do things for her to make her happy, when she knows Im dying inside. She sees her dad work all day at work and then come home and work on one of his rental homes to keep his mind busy. Shes see the tears and pain her in dads face that he tries to hide from her. She sees her oldest brother cry because he feels like he let his brother down because hes the oldest and feels like he should of done more. She sees her baby brother have night tremors because hes so scared hes going to loose the rest of his family!! And some of you want to make this about something that its not . All I ever wanted from the very beginning was love and compassion from the family and love from the very person that my son loved with all his heart! I would never hurt her. I dont want anyone to hurt her. Blake would want me to protect her. So please stop saying anything mean to her. She is just a child . You may not be Im just saying that in case you are because Brookie tells me what she hears and then some of the posts Ive seen . What has happened is a tragedy ! All this hate needs to stop! Love conquers everything!! I love all of my true friends that have stood by my side, that try to understand my pain and not judge me. And defended and loved me anyways when Ive said things that others took out of content. I love all my Facebook Family and Friends that have stood by me and supported me and most of all I love all the people that persecute me because like Jesus said to his father Father forgive them, for they dont know what they are doing . They have no idea the pain I live in every day , that is never going to go away! We need to get the Focus where he needs to be that is my sweet baby boy Blake . He was loved my many!!
Posted on: Sun, 07 Sep 2014 22:24:18 +0000