Pssst, those of you who have answered me gently when I was angry, who understood that I didnt really mean exactly what I said or I was showing in my tone and attitude, THANK YOU. Many times people dont mean what they say or how they act. Theyre hurting inside and that pain causes them to verbally lash out. We had a friend that verbally lashed out at me, 35 years ago, because we helped someone and she would have rather we helped her daughter instead. I knew she had a heart of gold and it was her pain, not her heart, that had lashed out. I assured her that we could help her daughter too and that we would consider it an honor to do so. She was still angry when she walked away from me. Once we parted and she had gone home and went to bed, the reality of what she said settled in her mind. She became so filled with guilt that she couldnt sleep well. She knew us enough to know that her daughter and I had been really great friends and that wed have helped her if we had known of her need. The next day I received a call from her, crying and in tears, apologizing for what she said. I assured her that I didnt take offense which brought more crying. What SHE didnt realize was that she was always so sweet and caring that it was impossible for me to believe that she could possibly mean the things she said. If I had taken offense when she first lashed out, things would have been very different. She would have become more angry, seeing my anger as an indication that I REALLY didnt care about her daughter or her. Her original offense would have been minor compared to what would have followed. Not only would she have said more hurtful words, but I would have also said words that Id later regret. Im so thankful to have known a lady that was so kind and caring that when she did show a different side of herself, I couldnt believe it was really from her heart. Id like to have more of the qualities of kindness and caring that she had. HER very character stopped me from lashing out in response. (Once we knew of her daughters difficult situation and her daughters need, we were able to help her too. ) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 12:40:22 +0000
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