Rant: I’m probably the wrong person to discuss this topic. I rarely say that, so let’s take a minute to note my acknowledgement before I proceed to blow it all to smithereens. Good? Ok..moving forward. In my faith, typically one does not attach itself to the theory of harming another, verbally or physically. It’s almost considered in most paths to be of bad taste, and the few that do merit it as a possible method of action are careful to attend to whatever cause that might have brought such a need in every other way BEFORE going for the proverbial throat as they say. I have had great deals of trouble doing this over the last few years, and have (lazily perhaps) given up the whole “take the high road” ideal as often as I used to. In fact, I’ll even go so far as to say that I have to restrain myself from lashing forward in most causes or cases. I have become fiercely protective of my friends/family, and to utilize them for “response” from me is more likely to get complete nuclear obliteration than a considerate tap on the shoulder and wag of the finger. What’s made me this way? Many things, truthfully, far too many to go into here in this, but it’s safe to say that I do and can pin point events and associations that have made this dark bloom appear in my otherwise brilliantly colored garden. The point is however, in some situations I feel as if my malice isn’t necessarily misplaced. I merely note that it takes me putting down the sledge hammer to think before I address it; Let’s hope I was successful, shall we? I’ve ranted numerous times on big girls, heavyset girls, or the wonderful world of weightloss obsession that we live in. I think about it a lot however, and occasionally something hits my radar about it and I grumble and grouch and kick a rock before I tell myself it’s alllllllllllll not my concern, and just my opinion, and shut the hell up Oceanna already, etc. Once in a while though it’s nice to just rid myself of swallowing down such a thick pill and instead chucking it back at the world. It makes the rest of the time I end up choking it back that much easier. The “need” to be “beautiful” by the standard of beauty is growing/has grown/straight up is, ridiculous. I think that floating out the idea that thin is acceptable, even in cautious, careful ways, is more damaging long term than acceptability and embrace of one’s self could ever be. I have clear (and controversial) theories on the “obesity epidemic” and the “healthy weight” movements. I’m going to forgo those in this rant because trust me when I say you’ll be tired of hearing about it well before I’m tired of talking about it. I’m not a small girl. I don’t care how much I weigh. I don’t care how much YOU weigh either, for the record, what I care about is if you’re a good person, do you pay your bills on time, are you a present-parent, do you support and love your friends, etc. What a number of pounds equals for your body means dick to me, and should mean dick to everyone else as well. I love who I love based on who they are, not what number is in the waistband of the jeans. I care about my friends success with getting to be who they want to be, sure…I support that 100%..because I support my friends. Not because I agree they are too big, need to exercise, should be active, etc. Nope. I care because that’s my job as your friend. I care about it just as much as I care about what color you painted your kitchen last week, or what cute picture you posted with a cat doing algebra or something equally as mundane. If you want my opinion, be prepared to hear the following statement: I do not care how big or small you are, just that you are the same person I like now. That’s it. Ok, ok…I’ll make ONE statement but I’ll stop myself before I go off the rails because you all know I will. Big girls are beautiful girls. We are strong and resilient because we have to be to live in a world that thinks less of us for it. We are courageous and smart because you don’t get a second chance when you aren’t physically what someone expects at a job interview or on a date, we chose our battles intelligently because we need to know that whatever verbal bombs are lobbed at us for our appearance we can withstand that hit and take our own pound of flesh in return (no pun intended.) I spent too long wondering what my life would have been like as a “real woman” when I was in my twenties, and even longer as a teenager to realize that I would have been…guess what? Me. The same person I am now. Maybe a bit weaker, truth be told, but me. Because who I am isn’t linked to what size I wear, but how I endure what others think of me. I wish that my friends would love themselves too, but I’ll wait for them to find that inner love just like I did. We all have bad moments, when we think negative things about ourselves…that’s when we should turn to others for reassurance and that kick in the ass we need to move around that rock. Support. Each. Other. Like you want to be supported. Like you deserve to be supported. This isn’t just about women either, let me say. Big guys are often thought of in derogatory terms and treated badly for not looking like the Calvin Klein ad. It’s an epidemic, a fly in the honey of our social grace, and a thorn in the sides of those pressed down because they are deemed to be lazy, unmotivated, gross, hygienically lacking, etc. etc. The sooner we start to show the younger generation that their value is based on appearance alone, the sooner we’ll create the world that is so superficially oriented that the “unpretty” will have no where to go..but away. It scares me, and should scare all of you, to think that young girls are so determined to lose weight to look like a super star they admire, or to grab the attention of other girls or boys, that they stop focusing on what is important in a person, what is truly admirable and valuable, and instead skip meals, suffer eating disorders, and fade into the background where they can get picked on, ridiculed or worse yet ignored. Beauty is not an appearance. Health isn’t just related to your weight. Value isn’t just what others think. Are we so blind a group now to see nothing short of the outer edges of a human? Are we perpetuating this believe in others by accepting it silently and shrugging our shoulders as “well, what can you do..that’s the world we live in now..” What we can do is choose not to allow it to define us. To make us into those individuals? Stand up for who you are and be proud of all you give to those who are so honored to have you.
Posted on: Fri, 30 Aug 2013 03:49:16 +0000