Ready to be made sad? Okay, here we go: Of all the ice cream treats one can get, there is none more amazing than the SpongeBob ice cream. Its the perfect blend of different flavors (red, white, and yellow, respectively), the perfect consistency, its structured just better than any other cellophane-packaged treat money can buy. Of course, part of its appeal is that its more difficult to find than your average packaged ice cream. Most gas stations dont carry it, and seriously who can ever catch up to the damn ice cream truck? I can name all the places in CT where I know it exists: the ice cream machine at the Home Depot in Hartford, and the ice cream machine at the Bowl-O-Rama on the Berlin Turnpike. Every time Im at either of those places, I will stab a person to steal the buck-fifty it costs to get a SpongeBob ice cream and when I get it, I savor every last bite (swallow? drip?) that it offers. But I just realized: the SpongeBob ice cream is a licensed product. Its availability is tied directly to the popularity of SpongeBob. This means that when SpongeBob finally disappears from public consciousness, its ice cream does too. But Eamon, you say, SpongeBob is an intrinsic piece of American culture. Its not going anywhere. SpongeBob premiered in 1999, its now 2014. Its been 15 years since audiences were first captivated by a talking version of something most people didnt know was even a sea creature. For comparison, The Flinstones lasted 6 years, the Jetsons lasted 1 and then, later, 2. Those shows are still American cultural touchstones and theyre gone. Their brands still live on, sure, especially on cereal boxes like with Fruity and Coco Pebbles, but lets face it those cereals survive solely on advertising and kids insatiable lust for sugar. SpongeBob ice cream is never advertised and is hard to find as it is. My point is this: we are left with a resource more valuable and more scarce than oil, and our time with it is running out. Savor your SpongeBob ice cream while you can, because within probably the next five years, it will be gone. Thank you for your time, this has been a public service announcement.
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 22:37:22 +0000
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