Recently I have been on a personal journey of trying to embrace my femaleness, which is not something that comes easily to me. This is a weird one because I recognise myself as androgynous, but this has created a strange dichotomy that makes it hard to be human. To explain what I mean by that I have never identified with the male/female duality but known I contain equal components of both masculine and feminine within. The challenge though is that in order to live now and as an intrinsic part of my spiritual journey I am required to integrate my humanness into my experience as a divine being. To do this I have been taking a number of basic physical steps as well as engaging in the inner process of exploring what all this means for me. This has taken me through the process of hitting quite a few surprising obstacles to embodied femininity that were lodged in my subconscious. I have noticed that while it is easy to embody what we could call fake femininity that is generally a lot more artificial, true femininity is another matter. In fact fake femininity is so far ingrained in our collective psyche that we might not even instantly recognise it when we see it. True femininity is not what we think, and its not centered around gender polarity, it goes much deeper and lives much more deeply, which then naturally flows outwards into expression. The remembered trauma that has occurred for the true feminine is extreme in nature - you couldnt script some of the plots of the past that are still lurking as shadows. At the core of my reluctance or difficulty to fully embody has been the central feeling of unsafeness. It is safe to say of course that if I am integrated I am not unsafe and do not need an external masculine to protect me, but nevertheless the imprint of a time when this appeared to be needed still lingers in a few dusty corners of my psyche. It even sounds strange to say, but I desire to take my place in the world as a woman, for whatever thats worth, but am struggling to do so! Would love to hear from some of my sisters on what have been your experiences, if any, with this particular issue.
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 22:36:16 +0000
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