Recently, I have had quite similar conversation with few people, some friends, some strangers...and its been about our needs and wants. Just the general chit chat about life. You know. Good few years Ive been claiming Im happy, means, I dont need anything in order to feel better. Sure, I always want things...but Im not sure those wants would make much difference regards to my Im happy state of being. Ive been like a terrier with a bone if honest, trying to prove my point until Im out of breath. I wake up when it suits me, I eat what I want, I drink, smoke and go nuts IF, when and where I want. I say what I want. Im quiet when it suits me. Im my own boss. Im free and Ill do, say and think what I want, when I want. Ive built my castle and I feel safe. Great. Still...there is one thing I have no control over, one thing I actually NEED. I need it more than I can explain in words. This one thing makes me restless and makes me question the value of the freedom I have. Now and then. I can not ignore it either. Unless...I will convince my mind its nothing to do with my needs and just something I want. Or is it?? I WANT something that takes my breath away, I NEED something that takes my breath away. I need it more than I want it. I think. Thats quite scary. Maybe theres no such things as complete happiness. Nirvana. Maybe, being content is not the way at all. Maybe, we need this little something thats missing all the time...? In order to feel the want to open our eyes when the morning comes. Not because we have to... Not because we are able to and free to do so. But because theres something we NEED to catch!? Notice even? Something that takes our breath away. Each and every day. I need this.
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 20:34:34 +0000
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