Redefining Ourselves: When we lose someone, we often lose a piece of ourselves. The closer our relationship with the person, the more of our self we have to redefine. Take the woman who has called herself a wife and mother for thirty years and then loses her family in a plane crash. This woman whose identity was wife and mother os left without a husband or children. Defining ourselves by others can bring fullness to our lives, but when faced with loss it also means we mist redefine the resulting emptiness. One of the first things to remember when seeking redefining it that your dont need to know all the answers now. No one should force you or hold a clock to your head asking you to redefine yourself overnight. This is a process. IT involves soul searching, courage, and rediscovery. It takes time. Realize that you dont have to let go of who you were----you just need to adapt for the future. In the case above, the mentioned woman will always know what it was life to be a wife and mother. For the rest of her life, she will remember and relive her role in her thoughts and actions. Even though life turns itself upside down and out role may change suddenly, we dont deny the importance of our history. Simply stated, the question becomes, Now What? After expecting life to take a certain course, it has chosen its own, far from your plans. Again, take it slow. Choose one thing that your know for certain. If you have always loved to paint, know that in the future you can still be a painter. Focus on what you do know about yourself. Look at the things youve always wanted to try and pick one to focus on. Take it one step at a time, and as youre ready, add another piece to yourself. For some, this rebuilding takes months, for others it can take a lifetime, bit piece by piece you can rebuild. When you are ready to begin the rebuilding process start with a list and make reasonable, accomplishing goals to start with. Take your time. However, more importantly be patient with yourself. Take care, Wendy Moses MBA, GC-C Grief Counselor for Memorial Mortuaries & Cemetery
Posted on: Fri, 07 Nov 2014 23:18:49 +0000
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