Research shows that before a Child attains the age of 14 he or she has heard on an average 1,48,000 times “ You Can’t “ . Whatever may be the intention of the parents, the teachers, the peer groups or the society , somewhere it is trying to be protective of the child we have the exaggerated use of “ You Can’t”. “ You should not “, “ You will not “ , “ You Must not “ , not.. not.. not… keep communicated. So happens even before the child attains the age of 14 there is an impact of “ You Can’t” and creation of memory cells in the child in this context. As result anytime we endeavor to venture into something ambitious or challenging , the first thing which happens within us says “ You Can’t” . Then we seek endorsements, we check with other people on these goals or challenges and ask them for their views and opinions or inputs on the new venture. You will say you want to be path finder or a path breaker or you want to do something which no one has done. As soon as you propose the new idea , the world around you wherein each one of them by themselves have heard the word “ You Can’t “ 1,48,000 times, collectively discourages you, the possibilities of what you can do and what you can be. All of you have seen ants moving in a line and climbing up a wall. If you try to block the ant with your hand , what will the ant do ? It will take detour and continue to claim. For sadistic pleasure which are not normal , if you push the ant from the wall down what will the ant do ? It won’t stay there dejected or disappointed . It will immediately start climbing the wall one more time. You do this any number of times to the ant , it will repeat its efforts to claim . Why is this happens ? Because the animals only understand the language of life and the language of life is “ I Can” . The language of death is “ I Can’t”. The animals only time they say “ I can’t “ when only they are dead and gone. As long as they have life in them they continue to believe “ I can”. There is a reason behind this . In the parenting of an animal the lion & lioness only teaches their cubs only what they are capable of doing . There is no discussion in the parenting on “ You can’t fly”, “ You can’t swim” . What you can alone is discussed. What happens in human parenting and in human situation where you are growing in an environment is not only you are showed or told what you can do , but they always remind you what you can’t do . Over a period of time, the language of death “ I can’t” becomes so dominant in our conditioning it overwrites the “ I Can” conditioning within us. In on the schools a 5th standard class teacher came inside the class and told all the students in beginning of the academic year. All of you open your class work books and I want you to list down all the things that you can’t do in your life. Children started writing like- I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I can’t play, I can’t speak in public. Teacher continue to coax them with some more suggestions what they cannot do and each one build their own list. Then the teacher said rip open the page and come let us all go to football ground. The entire class followed the teacher to the football grounds. The teacher dug a pit and she told all the children to throw the sheets which each one had written into the pit. When everyone did this the pit was closed. The teacher with intensity in her voice she looked at the children and said “ Now that we have buried what we can’t , Let us focus on what we can.” Let us invest on rest of the academic year on “ What we can” and focus on this.
Posted on: Mon, 07 Oct 2013 09:21:40 +0000