Rev Marks Message for BJ’s Funeral Saturday 1st November 2014 BJ Fatuoaiga Alesana FA’AVAE 7 August 2013 – 25 October 2014 During the last seven days as each of us considered the untimely death of BJ, our hearts have been full of questions - chief amongst them being “How did this happen?” and “why did this happen?” These questions have not only been in the hearts and minds of Jane and Brett and their families, but upon the lips of all of us who are here today - and indeed they have echoed throughout our community and in New Zealand and Samoa. We are not here today to answer these questions - even if we could. Rather we are here to mourn - to mourn and to commend BJ into Gods eternal care, and to ask God to help us - and to most especially help Jane and Brett through this tragedy. In the most beautiful of gardens, even those tended by the most skilful of horticulturalists, there is an occasional rose that buds, showing so much promise with its early signs of life but it never fully opens. In all respects the rose is like all the others, but something keeps it from fully blooming. It wilts and fades away or disappears without having reached full maturity or showing us its full potential. What happens in natures garden happens once in a while also in the garden of Gods human family. A baby is born, beautiful, precious, full of promise. That baby grows and develops and bring so much joy and delight into the lives he touches, but his young life is most unexpectedly cut short. It does not come to its rightful unfolding. This child, like the bud that never fully opens, is gathered back into Gods heavenly garden of souls - where all imperfections are made perfect; all injustices made right; all mysteries are explained; all sorrows are turned to happiness and all tears are wiped away. Today we mourn our loss of such a beautiful little boy. We weep, just as Jesus himself wept at the death of his friend Lazarus. Even if we knew the answers to the questions that rise so naturally to our hearts and minds at times like this, there would still be no adequate explanation for this loss. It is painful and dreadful. And I believe it is also painful to God, who created the world intending for it to be perfect. As Jesus himself said in the reading that we shared at BJ’s baptism on White Sunday last year and I read earlier: “it is to little Children that the kingdom of heaven belongs.” It gives us an insight into the special place children had in Jesus life and ministry and how we need to learn from them. In his too short 14 months with us, BJ has taught us much and gifted us with so many times of laughter and delight and our lives are forever enriched by having known him. One of the many cathartic Facebook posts this week quotes our Gospel from last Sunday; Matthew 5: 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”. No word can describe the pain that we are all going through right now. No parent should ever have to go through this. You knew how to put smiles on peoples face. You’re special to me just the same way you’re special to everyone. I will miss having you around, seeing you do your funny facials and also when you speak in your own language. I pray to God that he gives peace to your parents, grandparents, families and friends during this tragic time. You were young but you have left so many people with a broken heart. Fly high and we love you Baby BJ. Jesus speaks profound truth when he tells his disciples to be careful not to think less of little children simply because they are little children, for in heaven, he says, their angels continually see the face of my Father in heaven. There is a special place in the heart of God and amongst the angels for the little ones of this world just as there is a special place in our hearts today for BJ. And so we weep at what has happened. And so too - God weeps with us. What can be said that might ease the pain or soften the grief that you - and all of us feel today? There isnt much we can say that will really help. We can and we do express our sympathy and sorrow. We can and we do offer words of love, care and concern. We can and we will continue to pray for you. But other than that we dont know what to say about these things. Maybe it is because people dont know what to say that they sometimes say the wrong things. Some people may say that BJs death at this time was Gods will. Dont believe them! The God we worship, the God who watches over us, doesnt will the death of babies or the pain and anguish of their parents. Many, many things that happen in this world are not the will of God. That is part of the price of the freedom we have been given by God. Some people may say to you that God wanted BJ in heaven with him. While I am confident God has welcomed BJ into his kingdom, I am sure God did not want him to die last Saturday so that He could have him there. I’m certain God does not “take” our loved ones - God does however receive and welcome them. Some people may seek to comfort you by saying that you are young and that you can have other children. That may be true, indeed you anticipate the birth of your second child in about five weeks, but this child and any future children will not replace BJ. He was his own person. The empty place his death has left in your heart will not be filled simply because you have another child. Nor should it be. Every child is unique and precious. I am sure the people who say things like this say them with a desire to comfort. They want to say something that will help. Bless them for it - but know that we are faced with a mystery - the mystery of life - and of death - in which there are no easy answers. “What then are we to say to these things?” What St. Paul answers is, “if God is for us, who is against us? He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give everything else?” Jane & Brett, it is important to know that God is for you. God did not do this to you. God did not will BJs death or your pain. But God is with you in the midst of it all and will help you through it. God is for you. What is more, God gave up his own son for us all. Jane and Brett, God understands your pain. God had a son who died also. Jesus died on the cross for us. Now, you may think, “Yeah, but Jesus rose from the dead.” Well, because Jesus rose to new life we can be confident that BJ has new life also, one that can never be snatched away from him - or from you. Today in your grief know that there is another angel in heaven. Cling to that hope - that promise of our God - and allow your tears to wash away the pain in the days and months and years to come. Amen!! Thanks be to God!!
Posted on: Sun, 02 Nov 2014 10:55:10 +0000
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