SEMINAR PAPER ON THE ENTITY CALLED NIGERIA Jokes by nature are expected to be amusingly funny. It baffles me why some people laugh at Nigeria. Nigeria is a very focused and serious country led by very prudent and principled leaders. There is nothing funny about Nigeria, so why laugh? Nigerians are very righteous people; they speak against selective ills in their society. One shouldn’t criticise everything, because if one does so, one might be seen as unserious and since Nigerians are very serious people, they criticise selectively (only what affects them) – double standard is allowed in this case. Nothing is wrong in Nigeria until it directly affects you – a crime is not a crime until one is a victim. We are very loyal. We don’t snitch on our own. That is why it is okay for someone from our ethnic/tribal group to steal. Out of loyalty, we will simply turn a blind eye. But if someone from a different ethnic/tribal group does same…hmmm! Nigerians are highly religious, such that they preach and sin simultaneously. We are not violent. Our religions preach against violence. We just love to inflict pain on one another for fun – violence is a sport. Justice is not cheap; being a Judge is a very serious business. All those years and money that were spent studying law in the university and law school must be cashed in; that’s why justice is for the highest bidder. Justice is for sale. You can buy justice, albeit discreetly. Stealing is not a crime in Nigeria, in fact it is highly attractive. Steal billions and you will go to the fair, armed with your presidential pardon. Golden tip: when you steal, make sure you steal big. If you steal nickel-and-dime or goats, you will go to jail and not to the fair. In Nigeria, big thieves are celebrities, while petty thieves are criminals. Nigerian politicians (our leaders) are the most sincerest and honest politicians (leaders) in the world. They do not lie. They do not swindle Nigerians. They do not steal. They only say what is not true. They only take large chunk of our money illegally to take care of themselves. They are our leaders, they need to take very good care of themselves and make us suffer. That is leadership. The Nigerian Police is your very good friend. Hostility, harassment, aggressiveness etc. are all attributes of friendliness. So please, don’t get angry when they happily harass, batter or shoot you – they are simply protecting you, which is their job. Nigerians are arguably the most patriotic citizens in the world. We love our country dearly. We will do anything to defend and promote Nigeria’s image. Ask any foreign journalist who has ever written anything negative about Nigeria. Ask the Ghanaians and Kenyans on twitter. Only Nigerians can criticise or say something negative about Nigeria. You wouldn’t want to incur our wrath. We do not scam foreigners simply for the fun of it, we do it to promote Nigeria’s image abroad. It is not a crime, that is why it is called 419; we are not scammers, we are Ambassadors. Nigeria is not a joke! Nigerians are not jesters! Don’t laugh at Nigeria and/or Nigerians, we will take offence. Laugh at your own peril.
Posted on: Sat, 17 Aug 2013 22:08:04 +0000
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