SGI Members Testmonial - Amazing Experience by Ayushi Hi, i am ayushi and was based in new delhi all my life. well, till recently. i have been practising this life transforming philosophy since sept 2004. in march end i had shared my job victory with you all and am happy to report another significant milestone of my life. i had begun chanting to be in sync with the person i was going around with at that time. then i was 24, past several failed relationships. I have also been suffering from chronic asthma ever since my childhood and knew that i had a strong relationship and health karma.ignoring all economic, social and individual differences between us i had decided to end my relationship cycles and settle down in life with him. on his insistence i started chanting for a kosen-rofu marriage and both of us set a target of 1 million daimoku. In august last we got engaged but i wasnt happy with the way things were turning out neither from his side nor from his familys. unable to meet his expectations of behaving in a particular way, of being a particular way, of dressing up a particular way, i was constantly berating myself. my personality was taking a u-turn: from an extrovert, outdoors person and a career minded girl i was trying hard to adopt to a traditional middle class family. my parents meanwhile were also not very happy with the alliance but gave in thinking that it was what i wanted. due to my asthma they were also relieved that the family has accepted me as i was. I was constantly chanting to make things better, but my friends warned me of a relationship where i wasnt even communicating my fears and concerns with my fiance so much so that his mother had become central to the relationship. i was so involved with aunty that keeping her happy became my sole objective. as for my happiness, there were several question marks to it and conditions from the boys side like i will make u happy if u keep my parents happy. my mind said that since i was basing the marriage on faith i could not back out midway or be afraid of the adjustments and compromises required of me. I thought this was my human revolution: to change my style of dressing up, to sacrifice my personal likes and dislikes, to give up my identity and take on his familys identity, to do household work and overlook money, status or his educational qualifications, all of which was not as par my familys expectations. where on the one hand my heart was doing somersaults, on the other my health was a constant cause of friction. aunty herself used to remain quite unwell and so it became a question like will i, a not too healthy person, be able to do justice to my duties as a wife and daughter-in- law and look after him and the house. i wanted to get well for auntys sake and determined to challenge my health karma. while grieving at the deteriorating mutual understanding between the two of us, i undertook a strict naturopathy treatment for asthma. for a foodie like me to remain on total fast on 7 days was not easy.my treatment was slow and the pressure to get well before the marriage, scheduled for this january, was building up. I would constantly question the gohonzon as to why couldnt it quicken my recovery and keep getting angry the moment i fell ill. even as the marriage date was nearing, we were both nowhere near the 1 million daimoku. still, i couldnt overcome my weakness to wake up early morning to chant. In october end, aunty raised the issue of my health and talked of postponing the marriage. my parents took offence and there was a lot of bad blood that flowed. the marriage was called off and i had no idea what was happening. i couldnt believe the aunty who so loved me would be responsible for it in any way. and i couldnt expect any support from my fiance because he had told me right in the beginning that he would do whatever his parents say. so, i blamed my parents, my health, him and even the gohonzon refusing to take any responsibility upon myself. Alternating between despair and hope, having no other way to seek any answers, very reluctantly, slowly and after spending many nights crying, on the encouragement of my friends and leaders in faith, i started trusting the gohonzon. i was scared of my relationship karma and didnt want to lead a life full of rejection and misery. reading and rereading the gosho, NHR and senseis guidances gave me a lot of courage and hope. i had no other option but to chant and believe in the power of nam myo horenge kyo. Leaders told me that since i was chanting for a kosen rofu marriage, cancellation at the last moment meant great protection. there were moments when i reached the abyss of low. there were several occasions when i refused to chant. precisely then a phone call or home visit by a member would help me bounce back and i would sit down to chant again with a deeper resolve. Tears and daimoku were all i had but i knew nam myo horenge kyo could change poison into medicine.the daishonins words, if u want to understand what results will be manifested in the future, look at the causes that exist in the present encouraged me a lot. i determined that i will create a bank of good fortune by making good causes. i determined to become a lioness of kosen rofu, participating in gakkai with my life and found happiness in doing so. i realised i could pray for everyone else and despite my personal setbacks, be happy. I started fighting for my members happiness and victories. my own problems appeared miniscule when other members shared their grief with me. i knew then that job or no, marriage or no, real happiness lies in chanting no matter what. my health was improving painfully slow and i was on the verge of rebound relationships, but leaders told me to only rely on the gohonzon and not hurry into taking any decisions. from a person who began chanting mechanically, i was soaking in daimoku. I and my ex-fiance began communicating as friends and even though so much had happened i knew he was chanting earnest daimoku for my happiness. in my heart i knew i and him were two very different people and had thought of being together due to our naivety and respective fears and complexes, thinking we could change. i knew then that we could be comrades in faith and not partners in life. To come out of the relationship karma, i was determined not to compromise ever again in life and wrote down in my prayer book what i wanted in my kosen rofu partner. i had read senseis guidance dream the impossible and it shall come true. for the first time in my life, i dared to dream of the kind of person i would like to spend my life with and not find any person first and then try and fit him into my life like i had been doing all these years in relationship after relationship. I determined to show the power of faith in my life. my list was a page long. i prayed that the person should have a connection with me, my family and the gohonzon. i not only wanted a prince charming but someone with extraordinary hobbies like flying, sailing, adventure sports and with whom i could travel the world. Additionally, having bitten once, i prayed that the four parents are very thick with each other (a wish i had thought would be impossible in an arranged marriage) and the person acccepts me with my flaws and accomplishments while loving me unconditionally. In march came my first big victory when i landed a dream job and thoughts of marriage were far from my mind.i was still struggling to attend my meetings, climbing stairs was still a huge challenge but i carried unhindered and participated with gusto. i was really fighting for a member during the may 3 struggle and overcame my weakness of getting up early morning to chant with her while targetting a 180 degree turn to change the course of my life. I was chanting to rock the universe and report another victory. this was also the time when i was chatting on the net with 2-3 suitors, matches dad found for me and some that came through shaadi. my sole interest in talking to the boys was making friends and expanding my network of friends. one of the three people i was regularly exchanging e-mails with was my moms childhood friends son abhishek who seemed to fit my list to the T. using the strategy of the lotus sutra first, i started chanting for his happiness. based in australia, abhishek came to visit me on may 14 after a month of chatting and a few phone calls. My family adored him and we got married in june. i was fortunate to share my experience in my area on the day of my marriage and now as i write sitting in my house in sydney my heart is full of gratitude to the gohonzon. i deeply appreciate my ex-fiance for introducing me and my leaders for encouraging me. abhishek is everything i ever dreamt of and so much more. i am comfortably settled in a beautiful house overlooking the harbour and cook, clean, enjoy doing everything i was so scared of, with a finesse even i am suprised of. abhishek has come into my life as i expiate my health and relationship karma. Sometimes here i do get homesick but then i remember that gohonzon has chosen me to come to this place and it is here that i have to find my mission. i am happy to report that i have made many new friends in the SGI family here and am attending my meetings with full gusto. i have also determined to work for the SGI-Australia magazine, a wish that will soon come true. Thank you !
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 16:39:30 +0000
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