SHARING IN WONDER A man trained diligently for 2~3 years to be able to compete in a full triathlon. The race was exhausting, but he was thrilled to have completed it, and now that he understood the race, he was eager to train better and race smarter the following year. He also noticed that many of the triathletes shared their joy in completing the race with their families, by pulling their wives or children out of the crowd at the finish line, running the last 50 meters with them, and crossing the finish line together. That next year the man trained hard and went into the race feeling well prepared. Almost everything went as planned, and he was literally bursting with joy as he ran down the home stretch. Seeing his wife in the crowd near the finish line, and wanting to share his excitement with her, he ran over to her, took her hand and said, Thank you for putting up with my long hours of training. I want you to cross the finish line with me! But she pulled her hands away, waved him away, and said sharply, This is your thing. It doesnt have anything to do with me. The man crossed the finish line, and was warmly hugged by friends and fellow contestants, but inside he was stunned and crushed. The person he most wanted to share his feelings with had coldly refused to do so. Why we do not know. Perhaps she disagreed with her husbands priorities and thought this all a waste of time. Maybe she was just having a bad day. But she missed a tremendous opportunity to connect meaningfully with her husband by sharing in something he was excited about. You can be sure her husband will feel the pain of that day for many years to come. Sharing in wonder is one of the key ingredients of building emotional intimacy in marriage. The wonder may be something happy or sad. It could be big or small. The point is to step into your spouses world and for a short time try to see things through his or her eyes. Making this a habit will draw the two of you together in ways you never imagined.
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 18:43:48 +0000
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