· SOCIALISM · You have 2 cows. · You give one to your neighbor. · COMMUNISM · You have 2 cows · The State takes both and gives you some milk. · FASCISM · You have 2 cows. · The State takes both and sells you some milk. · BUREAUCRAT ISM · You have 2 cows. · The State takes both, shoots one, · milks the other and then throws the milk away. · TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM · You have two cows. · You sell one and buy a bull.. · Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. · You sell them and retire on the income. · VENTURE CAPITALISM · You have two cows. · You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, · using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, · then execute a debt/equity swap · with an associated general offer · so that you get all four cows back, · with a tax exemption for five cows. · The milk rights of the six cows are transferred · via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly · owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights · to all seven cows back to your listed company. · The annual report says the company owns eight cows, · with an option on one more. · AN AMERICAN CORPORATION · You have two cows. · You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. · Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died. · A FRENCH CORPORATION · You have two cows. · You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, · because you want three cows. · AN ITALIAN CORPORATION · You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. · You decide to have lunch. · A SWISS CORPORATION · You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. · You charge the owners for storing them. · A CHINESE CORPORATION · You have two cows. · You have 300 people milking them. · You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. · You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. · AN INDIAN CORPORATION · You have two cows. · You worship them. · A BRITISH CORPORATION · You have two cows. · Both are mad. · AN IRAQI CORPORATION · Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. · You tell them that you have none. · Nobody believes you, · so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. · You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy. · AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION · You have two cows. · Business seems pretty good. · You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. · A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION · You have two cows. · The one on the left looks very attractive.. · A GREEK CORPORATION · You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. · You eat both of them. · The banks call to collect their milk, · but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. · The IMF loans you two cows. · You eat both of them. · The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk. · You are out getting a haircut.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Aug 2013 15:34:19 +0000
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