SOMETIMES WE DONT GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO FIX THINGS.... Well Im in a strange space this last day or so. I chatted with a high school friend the other day on his birthday and somehow my old high school boyfriends name came up. My friend mentioned that he had passed away about 7 years ago and that he had seen his obituary in the newspaper. I was in total disbelief. I thought maybe he read the name wrong or something. My friend didnt remember how he had died. So Ive been scouring the internet for information for a couple days. I finally found an obituary but it didnt state the cause of death and i discovered my ex boyfriends father died the same year. My ex boyfriend would have been about 41 at the time of his death. Thats pretty young to pass on and leave this place. How sad i am to see he has no children of his own, only nephews and nieces. I hope he at least had girlfriend or someone special during his last years on earth. I cant imagine dying alone, although many people do. What i do remember was that he had tried to make contact with me after my youngest son was born and i was separated from the childrens father and finally single again. He had wanted to go see a movie or something and said we had some good times huh? I then declined his offer and when he asked why i wouldnt go, I released the floodgates! I let years of anger and frustration and pain i had accumulated from all my relationships combined, unload on him. I remember feeling that my treatment of him was justified because i had been hurt in love and life by him and others. And that was the last time we ever spoke! I was like a madwoman possessed. Im truly sorry I never got a chance to apologize or rehash the good times we had together. This our last conversation was about 6 years before he passed. I think deep down inside I always imagined wed run into each other again and be cordial and maybe find closure or be friends. Now that wont happen. But i pray that wherever his spirit is that he hear this reflection on my part. I want him to know im sorry for my harsh words and that i am very grateful he was there for me during a very difficult time of my life. I know I really would have been lost without him. I hope he didnt suffer in his last days here and I wished I had known about his passing sooner to be there for his sisters and extended family during their grief. I am glad both of his parents are with him as he returns home. Rest in peace Gerardo, i love you brother. Thank you, I really have been blessed to journey with you. You had a big heart. Hold down the fort til I get there. I leave you with a song. One of my absolute favorites. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE - Mercy Me I Can only imagine what it will be like When I walk by your side. I can only imagine what my eyes will see When Your face is before me I can only imagine I can only imagine Surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus? Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence To my knees will I fall? Will I sing, Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine, yeah I can only imagine I can only imagine when that day comes And I find myself standing in the sun I can only imagine when all I will do Is forever, forever worship You I can only imagine, Uhm, uhm I can only imagine To be surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus? Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence To my knees will I fall? Will I sing, Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine, yeah I can only imagine To be surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus? Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence To my knees will I fall? Will I sing, Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine I can only imagine I can only imagine I can only imagine I can only imagine I can only imagine I can only imagine When all I would do Is forever, forever worship You MercyMe - I Can Only Imagine (w/ lyrics): youtu.be/DU0MwNpRq6M I can only imagine
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 06:02:32 +0000
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