SUPER LONG POST ON THE REFLECTION OF THE MEANING OF LIFE (ASIDE FROM 42) I don’t usually post anything personal on my facebook because well it’s facebook. But I think its time for a check point and to UPDATE EVERYONE on whats been going on for me, so here I go. From tomorrow morning onwards I’ll be officially attending school at NTU under the Arts, Design and Media (ADM) course. Am I prepared for it? No. I am unbelievably nervous and jittery and maybe cold sweating which is not healthy at all and already panicking about panicking about how NOT prepared I am for school. For those who I’ve met in the past few months, you’d have known about this University struggle I’ve been having. (I’m going to brag a lot about it because I feel like this is the biggest thing I’ve ever accomplished in my whole life so far so just ignore me I’m sorry–) I’ve been accepted into 5 different Art schools. I’ve been accepted by my choice school and by various top Art schools in USA and I’ve been offered multiple scholarships from each of them. But then of course, there’s the other side of it where I applied for multiple Singapore scholarships and got rejected by all of them, and on top of that I realize clearly the reasons of why they did reject me. I was bitter about it because for the past 2 years I clung on to the idea that if I could just get through IB I’d finally be able to go to my choice school. Right after my final exams ended I started working non-stop, working frantically to get as much money as I could with what little jobs I could take on. I took on 6 or 7 various kind of jobs and methods to earn money just so that maybe, maybe I could at LEAST pay for my air ticket. Of course, it obviously didn’t work, and I really didnt have the money to go to any of the overseas schools. But I’m not so upset about it anymore. Up from IB to now I think I’ve been in some kind of master plan by God. The place I had the chance to internship in – everyone and everything that I saw there really impressed me; and they were all graduates (some still students) from ADM. My first breather that I’ve had since IB was when I let go of trying to go overseas. And through this whole almost-one-year, it’s honestly been a very tiring and struggling time for me realizing the limits of what I could do, but at the same time I think I’ve grown a bit. Just a bit. And I’ve healed a bit of myself, with much help. Maybe just by 1 cm, but that counts for something too. There are so many people I want to thank. I’d really like to sit down, maybe write a ridiculously ramble-y long letter like this one and sloppily wail and cry and hug them before handing them all of my gratitude. I can list a few off the top of my head, Sujuan, Ms Grace, Mr Khiew, Mr Yeo, Tan Wee Lit, Ruth, Vera, everyone at work, etceteraetcetera. But letters like this usually takes me hours and are mostly written when I’m too awake and nervous for school to fall asleep. Even the start of ADM has been filled with wonderful seniors and classmates who have been super sweet to me. I thank every one who has ever put up with my University ramblings, my EMO ANGSTY BITTER talks about life or who have simply made me smile. And thank you to SOTA for housing me for 6 years. Thank you for putting up with this girl who’s immensely idealistic and emotional, but who’s still trying to grow and figure out what to do with her life. Really, thank you. Someone really wise told me that it’s not the University you go to that matters, but what you make out of the education that does. And I’m going to make the most of what I can. I’m not good in design, I’m better at swimming than doing design (and the point is that I swim as well as the way that bricks dont quite swim), but I think I’ll try the best that I can. I’ll work hard while bearing in mind that the end goal isn’t about school, but about being an artist, and please slap me if I ever lose sight of it. So here goes nothing.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:14:58 +0000
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