Saying, “I’m sorry” when you’ve hurt someone can be a hard thing to do. We’re stubborn creatures, after all, and don’t love copping to it when we’re wrong. But apologizing, and meaning it, is a vital part of the forgiveness process — a concept that’s now more understood than ever, thanks to researchers out of the University of Miami, who delved into this psychological phenomenon. “It’s one of the largest, longest, and, we think, most definitive studies of the effects of conciliatory gestures on human conflict resolution ever conducted,” Michael McCullough, professor of psychology and lead researcher, said in a press release. He found that the most sincere, forgiveness-inducing apologies include saying “I’m sorry,” offering to compensate in some way for the wrongdoing, and taking responsibility. And the reason they work so well is largely based on principles of evolution: the apologies make the transgressor seem more valuable as a relationship partner, and also help the victim feel less at risk of getting hurt again. “People often think that evolution designed people to be mean, violent, and selfish,” McCullough noted, “but humans need relationship partners, so natural selection probably also gave us tools to help us restore important relationships after they have been damaged by conflict.”
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 14:20:15 +0000
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