Scott Milenski and I are having a disagreement. I had to analyze a movie relevant to the classic monster themes we have been exploring in my literature class. We most recently read Dracula and one of the movies suggested to review was the 2004 movie Van Helsing, with Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale. INGLORIOUS SPOILER ALERT if you have not seen this movie, DONT. Unless you want to lose IQ points and Oxygen due to the amount this movie SUCKS! I am torn as to which part of my review was more scathing; the part where I refer to Kate Beckinsales costumes as rejects from the Pirates of the Caribbean Musical or where I call the pacing of the movie a hallucinogenic scatter-race through as many monster adaptations and neurotic plot twists as a movie can have and not go straight to video. Van Helsing was a terrible movie. Terrible! The teacher told us we had to do a movie review. She did not say we had to love the movie. Thank goodness. I could not have lied through that one.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Feb 2014 03:33:01 +0000
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