Season #3-55 I sat in the middle of the bed just sitting nje and I cried it hurt Linda came in and he came to sit with me he held me and I lay on his chest Him: its okay baby Me: no its not why do people hurt us then come back and expect us to forgive them why do these people do this to us are we that stupid Him: we not stupid baby Me: its just not fair Him: I know We sat there in silence after a while I woke up from him and I looked at him Me: baby Him: hm Me: are you going to forgive him Him: not now Me: why not Him: Im not ready Me: when are you going to be ready Him: babe please that man stole my childhood from me that man looked at me suffer and he didnt even try to give me a fair chance he didnt bother to help my mother so no I wont forgive him Me: yet I have to forgive my mother He stood up wama ngenyawo Him: its different okay Me: different how because my mother gave birth to me waphisana ngami kubakwa Sithole to raise me because she never ever looked back because though I had a mothers love from Sithole but not of the one who gave birth to me is that why its different Him: Busi I cant forgive him Me: why dont you take a page from your teachings why nawe ungaswabisi u satan Him: I cant Me: yes you can and you will Him: will you make me Me: baby please do this for me for your kids your family especially for yourself Him: Im not going to forgive that bustard uyezwa I am not I made peace with the fact that he never loved me so why do I have to be the one who goes to him I will not Me: if you dont forgive him then Im not forgiving my mother Him: thats your choice but I am not going to dance to the mabena beat I will not Me: just like that so you are going to dismiss it like that Him: yeka inkani uhlukane nami okay this has nothing to do with you Me: what happened to us being a team family Him: we may be a team but Im the head of this family and right now Im feeling ngathi you are not listening to me Me: I am but Im offering my input Him: I never asked for it Me: so I must just be quite because Im just your wife Him: yes you do that Me: what is wrong with you Him: what is wrong with you Busi I know what Im doing stop second guessing me you are my wife not my psychologist Me: wow I stood up from the bed and I wore my shoes Me: glad you cleared that atleast now I know Im just one of your possessions Ill get out of your way he held my hand as I walked out Him: Im sorry Me: not as sorry as I am you know I just didnt think thats how you felt about me but you know what it makes sense now Him: meaning Me: Im just your wife you do things without talking to me you go and lose 16 million without asking for my opinion, you buy me a car without discussing with me Him: I wanted to do something nice for you Me: thats the problem right there when you want to do something for me you buy buy buy I love you for who you are not what you have I never not even once made you feel I love you for what you have how many times must I tell you money is just a bonus I want to be with you and only you I want you to see me as more than your wife Him: I do Me: no you dont you shower me with gifts not that I dont appreciate them but baby sometimes I want you to accept my input atleast listen to me ask me what I think even though you know you wont listen make me your equal had you taken the time to know the real me Im sure you would never have left that time you lost the money I love you dammit Him: I love you too Me: then love me enough to make me your equal involve me and give me my right position in your life please Him: Im sorry Me: I dont want your sorry I want you to lead I want you to be the husband you keep saying you are He held my face with both his hands Him: tell me what to do and Ill do it I promise Me: forgive your brother and father and lets concentrate on us and our family He let me go and looked away I went to look at him I took his hand and I put it on my tummy he looked at the tummy then me Me: asehlise lenzondo nenhlukumezo laphezu kwamahlombe ethu and lets start afresh for Luthando she deserves to come in a family that is clean that is free and that is filled with love lets teach our children that forgiveness frees them too I saw the tears sparkle in his eyes and they started falling out he pulled me to him and he hugged me Him: I forgive them I forgive them baby I do Me: thank you Him: I love you Busi please never give up on me help me be a better man help me baby Me: Im here baby and Ill always be here for you I love you too He broke the hug and I saw he was wet with tears he came to kiss me we kissed for the longest time then we broke it Him: Im not buying you with gifts Me: I know Him: I just feel buying you things will show you how much I love you Me: I know you love me because you gave me something that will never amount to any value Him: and that is Me: your heart I have your heart the one thing no woman could ever have and you made me the mother of your kids thats all that is a beautiful gift and its what Ill forever be grateful for Him: I love you my wife Me: I love you too baba wabo so much zolala phaze kwami Him: zolimaza u lula wena izolala phezukwami Me: lets just cuddle We went and we lay in bed kissing #ILoveMyNiggar as imperfect as he is hes my all and Im grateful to God he sent him to me We woke up when mamro came to call us for supper sahamba sayodla yooo we were eating mamro special stew and rice yoooo I just love it then my phone rang it was Za Me: cuz Her: hey unjani Me: Im fine wena Her: Im okay hey Im 14 weeks Me: ncooo so you are preggies Her: and Im so excited my niggar is just amazing Me: Im happy for you Her: so wena zikhiphani Me: nothing much hey Her: mamela ama biker ase sosha ane social and they will be holding it e small fountain on saturday Chicco is inviting you guys Me: ahh sorry man we cant come siya e naspoti Her: kunani lapho Me: visiting phumzile Her: your mother Me: yeah shes not well Her: oh okay so nobuya nini Me: I dont really know well see Her: okay ke call me Me: I will Her: babingelele neh Me: jah and I hope awusa phuzi Her: Chicco would literally kill me Me: good bye ke Her: sharp I hung up Sethu: mama uthi uyaphi Me: nelspruit baby you guys are coming with Lwethu: when Me: saturday Lwethu: sibuya same day angithi Me: why Lwethu: Im going to Jessicas pyjama party on saturday afternoon Me: why dont I know about it Her: daddy Linda: sorry I forgot to tell her Lwethu came with an invite izolo to go to a party on saturday afternoon Me: where Him: in faerie glen a friends house Lwethu: ma its only for girls and Jesss parents will be home Me: where are the phone numbers I want to talk to her mom Lwethu: so its a yes Me: its a let me talk to Jessicas mother first Linda: its a yes baby I just gave Linda an eye mxm we finished eating and I took the dishes to the sink Me: Kea you are quite today whats wrong Him: I was speaking to my dad Me: when boy Him: earlier Me: is he okay Him: he was drunk and he was crying he says hes lonely Me: do you miss him Him: I do Me: dont you want to go visit him Him: really Me: yeah really He stood up and came to hug me Him: thank you aunty Me: its okay Ill call him and you can go spend a weekend with him Him: really Me: why not hes still your dad Him: can I call him and tell him Me: sure He ran to his room But family is just the best yazi and Im sorry Sgo had to lose 2 people same time I really didnt think hed hurt like that I thought traveling would take his mind off things.
Posted on: Sun, 24 Aug 2014 13:14:54 +0000
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