Serious post. I think one of the things I try to be is honest. Honest about who I am and honest about what I do. I struggle with something called B.E.D. (Binge Eating Disorder). Am I clinically diagnosed? No. But I know that I have it. And no, Im not a hypochondriac saying that for attention. Thats not the point of this post. Ive struggled for many years not having a filter or control on how much I put into my mouth. I can literally eat like a 300 pound man. I can shovel it in without even thinking about it and then eat more. Last night Josh wasnt home. I ate 3 pieces of bacon pizza with half of a cookie pizza. I sat on the couch and cried. What was I doing to myself? At this point in my weight loss journey, while still have about 30 pounds to lose, its not about vanity for me. I want my insides to feel good. I literally destroy my insides when I binge. After my eating episode last night all I wanted to do was sleep. Sleep is how I deal with stress or any emotion other than happiness really. I called my husband and cried. I let it all out. I told him how alone I felt even though Im always surrounded by people. He said I get why you feel alone. Only you can mentally change how you think about food. Hes completely right. Only I can control what I eat. Am I perfect every day in my fitness journey? No. Do I screw up? Yep, a lot. Do I know this is what I do for a living? Sure do. I woke up this morning with a fresh mind. I decided that I have to choose to make this day better than yesterday. Im opening up and saying all of this because I want you to know that if you struggle with this too, youre 100% not alone in it. Know that Gods grace renews every morning that you wake up. Know that youre human and youre bound to screw up a lot. Know that this journey youre on in life isnt a one day or one week road. Its a lifetime full of opportunities to make good choices with your health. I hope this encourages someone today. I hope it speaks to your heart and lets you know to not give up hope on yourself. If you shoved a candy bar in your mouth 2 minutes ago, its ok. Pick yourself up and try again. The only way youll fail is if you quit!
Posted on: Wed, 23 Jul 2014 15:33:56 +0000
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