Sermon - Matthew 18: 15-20 - September 7, 2014 I will tell you a little secret this morning. When a minister is not sure how to begin a sermon, he or she turns to a book full of stories and select one that has an oriental flavour. It always works. Once there were two monks, Tanzan and Ekido, travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection. ‘Come on, girl’, said Tanzan at once. Lifting her arms, he carried her over the mud. Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. ‘We monks don’t go near females’, he told Tanzan, ‘especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?’ ‘I left the girl over there’, said Tanzan. ‘Are you still carrying her with you?’ As I said earlier, this is the first worship service of September, a month often called ‘Welcome Back to Church Month’. We are ready to resume our regular schedule of activities. We have tried to tie up the building so it could look good. We have published a beautiful ad in the newspaper inviting people who might have been away for a few weeks or a many years to join us on Sunday mornings. And what does the lectionary gives us for such a special occasion… a Gospel passage about the inevitably of division and conflict in the church. Woo Hoo! Yeah! That will incite people to come back for another Sunday! It feels like arguing in front of the kids or doing dirty laundry in the presence of your guess. Is there someone somewhere who really thinks it is a good idea to preach on this text today? Like really! Do not get me wrong. I know there are conflicts and disagreements in churches. I do not live in La-la-land. In fact, how to deal with those situations is a significant part of day-to-day ministry, or to be more precise, how to avoid them at all cost. For some reasons, Christians have been raised and trained to behave in such a way that harmony and consensus are the only behaviour acceptable in a church setting. Reaching those goals should trump everything else. If someone might get mad if something is done, said or even perceived, it is better we all forget about it. We have enough trouble on our plates. We cannot afford to add more. Since divisions seem to be unacceptable among good church people, what should we do when others do not behave? How do we deal with them? Them and not us because they always begin the fight, we don’t. Not us. After all we are always on the right side of the argument. What is the course of action with such individuals? Do we just call a bunch of people to complain about them behind their back and gain more supporters to our cause? Do we just repeat some juicy gossips? Do we just send them a nasty email and cc the minister to make sure that she or he knows how bad this person is? Do we just keep silent for a while until we cannot restrain ourselves and begin to admonish that person about everything he or she has done wrong since the beginning of time? Do we just make treats to leave the church and make it very publicly to make sure that everyone knows who is responsible for the decline of membership in our congregation? Like Kathryn Matthews Huey beautifully wrote in one of her comments on the subject, sometimes conflicts in our churches are lying on the surface in pools, puddles, or ugly potholes that everyone tries to step around. On other occasions they are undercurrent streams flowing beneath the worship life, the fellowship time, and the service toward one another and the world. How many careful avoidance, unspoken words, resentments or even injuries are carried around and distort our decisions or direction as a community of faith? How many hurts are used as badges of honour and righteousness entitling us to our resentments? How do we stop going to these places where everyone eventually loses? How do stop carrying with us for days, months or years old pain and hurts? For many Christians, this morning’s passage from the Gospel according to Matthew is THE perfect guide to follow in a church context when a conflict arises. When someone does something wrong or commits a sin, it is up to the members of the community to take responsibility for reproving erring brothers and sisters. Step 1: first go and point out the fault to the sinner when the two of you are alone. Step 2: If the sinner does not want to listen, take one or two others along and repeat step one. Step 3: If the individual still refuse to listen to reason refer the case to the whole community and, step 4, if the member is still too dumb or stubborn to get it, just excommunicate him or her… which could be problematic for United Church’s people since we do not really have excommunication… because everyone is welcome in our midst… Sadly, this text has been abused by so many in the history of the Church, in so many different mainline and sectarian denominations. It has been presented as the only measuring rod of how members should react and behave in case of conflicts in the church. It has been used as a tool to silence all the troublemakers who dared to challenge status quo, traditions or ecclesial authority. Too many times this Biblical text led many to believe that discipline, rules and polity always come before individuals. It created a culture of putting the well-being of the institution before the one of the people. ‘We will not release the names of the members of the clergy who abused their power or behave inappropriately because it could hurt the church. Instead, let us meet with these individuals, one on one, behind close doors. Let us deal with this situation among ourselves.’ I do not believe this passage is a guide for discipline and regulations in the church, but a reminder that people should always come first. When we have a problem with someone else, we should not badmouthing or write that person off. We should try instead to come together and try to figure it out. Instead of dressing long lists of why we are right and they are wrong, we are called to go and initiate a conversation about the issue with those involved. We are invited to deal with the problem by seeking to understand and appreciate the reasons why this or that behaviour is getting under our skin and drives us nuts. If we are unable to communicate adequately with someone else, let us bring some help, some individuals who would be a mediator or would have a different take on the situation. And if, at the end of the day, we cannot achieve some satisfying results, we are told treat others like Gentiles and tax collectors as Jesus would do, meaning offer to them acceptance and forgiveness. We are invited to start over from scratch and to offer them again God’s forgiving and unconditional love. At each stage of this process, the ultimate and only goal is reconciliation. It’s all about restoring right relationship among people. To walk on the path of reconciliation is not always easy. It is more than saying I am sorry you feel that way. It goes beyond trying to diminish, erase or denying the profound divisions created by the recent and ancient history of our society. It rejects some sort of phoney harmony in the group that sweeps abuses under the carpet in the name of Christian peace. Reconciliation is most often difficult because its emphasis is compassion and forgiveness. We cannot achieve reconciliation if we cannot see the individual in front of us as a beloved child of God with all his or her strengths and flaws as we also have strengths and flaws. We cannot achieve reconciliation if we are not ready to put forgiveness at the core of who we are and how we address the world. We cannot achieve reconciliation if we are not ready to take some ownership and honestly acknowledge what is my part in this conflict. However, when we make the efforts to go to one another and seek reconciliation we can create a stronger community inside and outside this building. We can get closer to the ideals Jesus came to teach us. What is the blessing to belong to a church? It is made up of people like us. What is the curse to belong to a church? It is made up of people like us. Real churches have real conflicts because we are all filled with passion, dedication, feelings and opinions on everything. The good news is those conflicts do not kill church communities. Refusing to address those conflicts kill churches. Carrying old grunges with us for months and years kill churches. Denying the diversity of views in the community kill churches. Refusal to hear one another and to engage in honest conversation kill churches. So my friends, welcome back to the church, a place filled with an awful lot of troublesome, difficult, stubborn, injured and challenging individuals. And you know what? There is always room for one more who is seeking right relationship, reconciliation, compassion, forgiveness and genuine love in the Body of Christ. Amen.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Sep 2014 14:30:00 +0000
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