Seven (7) New Words and Terminologies (For Modern Nigerians) 1. Naijanistan ~ A West African Country formerly called Nigeria (Mostly in reference to the North-eastern regions of the country, bordering the neighbouring nation of Cameroon. 2. Cementenary ~ Used as wordplay to imply that as a country pays worthless attention, wasting enormous amounts of funds that could be put to more worthy developmental purposes toward the celebration and remembrance of a bogus anniversary event, it may actually be celebrating its own rapid demise. (Heck! Even Lord Lugards b**** gets an award...!) Ssh...That last part was whispered in your ear...!!! 3. Renosynthesis ~ The ability to transform, morph, or alternate between different characters as a ruse, or a deceptive tool to misinforming society by propagating false stories about perceived enemies, or opposition personalities. Must also have the ability to assume to possess the knowledge of a social media nerd when actually he is closer to bottom of the class in same field. Should also possess the ability to blend effortlessly into the robes of a clergyman. By the way, will the REAL Phil Smart please stand up...please stand up...please stand up...?) Thanks for the borrow, Em...! 4. Jonathanians ~ Foot soldiers dedicated to service on behalf of Goodluck Jonathan. Motto: Jonathan can do no wrong. Membership: Niger Deltans, South Easterners (South-South inclusive - whatever that is...!) Cabinet personnel, including the Federal media people (Special this, special thats), Federal contractors, beneficiaries of largesse, including members of Nollywood, especially the Actors Guild membership, and Yesterdays musicians (Hunger na Baad ting!) They have created such a powerful force shield around the man. Sometimes I think he might actually be under arrest! Who will save Mr. President? Who will tell him the truth? 5. Dodocracy (Updated): Synonym: Mumucracy ~ A country (not the same thing as nation!) ruled by mugus, who were elected by mumus, and governed for the benefit of sulus (You may add Gambaris, if you so wish!) 6. NNPC ~ A new word for an ATM (Automated Teller Machine) Usage: NNPC is Jonathans ATM or Lagos and South West governments are Tinubus NNPC/ATM. Note: Balance is key, or you could get a bloodied nose! 7. Pastorpreneur(ship) ~ Simply put, a man of God who is a businessman, first and foremost. He runs a business and counts his profits and losses. Nigerian pastorpreneurs are among the richest in the world. They drive around in convoys and use bodyguards who wield the most sophisticated automatic weaponry, own huge universities, have branches spread all over the world; Own the most expensive personal aircraft - one could even start off an airline company if he so wished, he has that many! Best criterion: Ability to block the Lagos-Shagamu express road as often as possible as a test of popularity (My worshippers are more than yours, joor! Ish!) More words shall be unveiled as the drama (tragi-comedy, actually) called Nigeria, continues... ~ Wongi (Baba...!)
Posted on: Thu, 27 Feb 2014 16:16:37 +0000
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