She said, “I never listen to myself. I always force myself to do things I don’t want to do.” She said this over and over again, without seeming to feel much about it. So matter of fact. It broke my heart a little more each time. “I always force myself to do things I don’t want to do.” Let that sink in for a minute. Feel, for a moment, the deep wrongness of that statement. “I never listen to myself.” Wow… You know, if I had a lover who never listened to me, I’d be outta there in a flat second. And yet, so heartbreakingly often, we don’t listen to ourselves. I’m living this right now: five months ago, I didn’t listen to that quiet, sure voice inside that said, quite clearly, “hmmm… nope. I don’t want to do this.” Well, I didn’t listen to myself, and instead signed onto an 8-month project that I’m not full-heartedly, gut-wrenchingly into. And it sucks. It sucks around the edges, in an I-know-I-deserve-better kind of way. It sucks in an I-treated-my-instincts-like-garbage kind of way, and now I’m dealing with long-term, low-level suffering. What sucks for you right now? You can be honest. I’m the only one listening, and I won’t tell, pinky swear. It’s just between us. What, if you really listened to yourself and gave a big ol’ middle finger to the consequences, would you walk away from right now? What do you know for sure you are so over, so not into, but haven’t had the nerve to say it out loud? What’s gnawing at your edges and making you ever so slightly bat-shit crazy? Yeah. That thing. You know the one. Go ahead, say it out loud. Whisper it if you need to. Just call it out. Now I’m gonna let you in on a secret, so lean in close: The only person you have a responsibility to take care of is yourself. That’s right. I said it. I’ll say it again. You are your primary responsibility. You cannot be – I repeat, cannot be – the shining light you are meant to be if you don’t listen to yourself. When you really listen to your soulful heart-gut & inner knowing, you (finally, gloriously) get out of your own way. Anything less is just crap. And you deserve better. You deserve better.
Posted on: Fri, 06 Sep 2013 13:31:57 +0000
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