Since this is the day after my birthday, Ive decided to make a few changes. Just a way to express myself and my new found faith in The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (C.O.T.F.S.M.) As of 4 hours ago, I sold everything I owned to the founder of that church and am going to become a missionary for the C.O.T.F.S.M. Carol will be going with me where we will live in a tent-boat in Italy for the next 11 years. I will be planting my church outside of Turin in Northern Italy. I am taking donations to fund this endeavor. My son, Jacob, is available for rent to help cover our expenses. He has many talents for your needs. He can : 1.) Play video games for hours. 2.) take a 45 minute shower and use up all the hot water. 3.) watch water boil. and 4.) leave the automatic garage door open all night by accident. 5.) smell like a teenage boy after 4 hours of Pilates and not notice it until someone points it out. Such a talented kid! Our dog Brandy is also offering her services as her local stud is not happy at all about her leaving the country and has made his feelings known by leaving large squishy deposits on our sidewalk right in the shady spot at the bottom of the steps. Heel poop is hard to spot until after you get into the car and hit the gas pedal. Not appealing at all. Anyway, Carol and I will be leaving in 72 hours and will be completely off the grid. Except for 2 tin cans and 4,000 miles of string. Just use Listerine before screaming into the can, please. All hail the F.S.M. Praise to his noodley appendage. Ramen. And, Ramen. And, Ramen. We shall miss you all.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Apr 2014 01:33:58 +0000
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