So Eye of the Tiber Stole one of the jokes that Isaac Izzy Kassock and I came up with. I found the email that I sent to them dated March 18, 2014. My conscience is clear. Whatever. Heres the originial: 1. Hyperdox Housewives of the (Arlington) Diocese. Now the original show was so popular on secular stations that they expanded to different regions of the country, (the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Long Island, Jersey Shore) and it became a HUGE hit. Why can’t EWTN do something similar? It could be part of the new evangelization! The first part of the show is your crisis: Militant homebirthers talking smack against moms who plan on using powdered formula bought at Big Lots to feed their off spring, unschooling vegan moms against public school moms who send their children to government run public schools who use the Common Core while feeding institutional lunches made with GMOs from the Monsanto Agricultural Conglomerate, another episode could have a hyperdox MARRIED housewife wearing a WHITE mantilla and a pair of pants to a Tridentine Mass. After stating the conflict, there must be some catechesis, maybe given by a twenty something youth ministry couple in skinny jeans and hipster glasses with matching Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati tattoos and then the hyperdox housewives can go to confession. . .The three “C’s” (Crisis, Catechesis and Confession) Every episode ends with the folks going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (but not face to face for our pant wearing trollop) and the hyperdox housewives hugging each other and promising to love one another. 2. Are you smarter than a Jesuit? Fairly hard questions until you get asked “What is a novena?” 3. Liturgical Dancing with the stars. Week One: Nancy Pelosi doing the Cotton Eyed Joe versus Bono just standing there maybe tapping his foot, looking cool. Week two: Joe Biden doing the Texas Two Step and Susan Lucci performs a Tango. Audience phones in their pick. 4. Keeping up with the Carthusians 5. Who Wants to be a Saint? 6. Monsignor Makeover: What happens when that priest who has been gunning for Monsignor has very few career options now that there are no new Monsignors? We bring in experts to make them over; “From Monsignor to Mendicant.” 7. Wheel of Providence: A game show where NO ONE wins any money. (BIG GRACES!! BIG GRACES!!) 8. The prAy team (I pity the fool who dont pray). No Mohawks in this remake. Tonsures. 9. Ex Cathedra Files (Its actually fairly short) 10. CS(lewis and) I: 11. Benedictine Abbey (Things can get pretty crazy after Vespers and Compline when following the Rule) 12. Star Trek: The story of Balthazar, Melchior, and Casper on their way to Bethlehem following a star. 13. This Old Catacomb (Bob Villa: Well heres your foundation problem! NO MORE THAN FOUR bodies per sarcophagi!) 14. The Rectory (Based on the Office) 15. Pretty Little Lepers: The story of Saint Damian of Molokai 16. Glee (The behind the scenes story of the heart and soul of a Gregorian Chant Choir) 17. Little Flower, Big World (The story of soul) 18. Scared Straight: NO! I am not even going to go there. . .THIS concept is for when misbehaving kids are sent to CCDetention. 19. Natural Law and order: Follow Detective Tommy Aquinas and Al Magnus as they search for answers. 20. Walking Dead: This show follows the real life behind the scenes on what it takes to put on a VBS every summer. 21. How I met your Mother (A bunch of Protestants discover that Catholics don’t ACTUALLY worship Mary) 22. What not to wear: A bunch of sensibly clad skirt wearing woolen women giving advice to the pant generation. Elbows? Not on their watch sister sledge. 23. Toddlers and Thuribles. This episode could follow a number of young parents as they attempt to take their young children to Mass. Some churches can have cry rooms, some churches can just have crying elderly. One episode can depict a panic stricken parent as they realize they have forgotten the zip lock baggie of cheerios and the sippy cup. Viewer can watch in abject horror as the 18 month old becomes (wait for it. . .wait for it. . .) INCENSED with rage.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 22:34:05 +0000