So...Heres the deal. I know myself and have dealt with depression long enough to know where Im at. Ive been dealing with chronic severe depression on and off for 20 odd years. So I know the signs, the tells, the triggers. Ive always been honest and upfront on the fb page...Not for self pity (as we touched on this topic last week). But to raise awareness, educate people, comfort people in letting them know they are not alone, helping and talking to people behind the scenes and so much more. I told my daughter today...That I am on the verge of another “MAJOR” Breakdown. And if I cant beat it atm...I will end up spending time in the mental health ward again..Or worse. The past week I took 3 “Pete days” where I did what I wanted..When I wanted. Ive also been spending more and more time with my daughter and grandkids. The range of issues that I am trying to deal with and cope with are right across the board. Personal, Business and love. And the list is endless and grows each day. I have for the past week reached out and tapped into every recourse that I have or can use to beat this current state. My greatest fear...Is going down hard yet again...And having to start the rebuilding process all over again. Which I have had to do so many times. My goals, dreams, ambitions, family and friends are my main focus atm...And combined with that and all of the other medical help I have access to...I am fighting...And I am fighting hard. I am also determined to not let this affect the magazine, publish dates, photo shoots or other business matters. If Im not talking to certain people..Its not personal. If im not answering pm’s or emails..Its not personal. Im doing what I can when I can to not only cope..But to deal with each issue one by one and beat this current threat. I...And for that matter..We..As in everyone involved in the Business, magazines, facebook friends and followers have all come too far and got to close to where things should be. And I am DETERMINED to beat this...As well as make 2015...Our year. You have all been through my ups and downs. My highs and lows. You have all witnessed my good days and my dark days. And for that....I am eternally grateful...Thankful...And appreciate the fact that you all hang in there with me...And walk with me through this journey....At this stage...All I can really say is..Thank you. My love, thoughts and thanks to each and every one of you xxoo
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 10:43:19 +0000