So, I have a sort of rant this morning. Actually, Ive been thinking about this ever since I posted the photograph of Lupita, in all her glory, after being chosen as one of Glamours women of the year. How do we live in 2014 and still squabble over beauty standards? Many people consider enhanced beauty as acceptable and natural beauty as ugly, to the point they will comment, vociferously and viciously, about it. China and Indias populations are at over a billion people, each, and yet its European standards of beauty that seem to rule. I dont normally read entertainment news but its kind of hard to miss the wedding photographs of Solange Knowles, Beyoncés sister, on my newsfeed. The photographs were eclectic, hip, fascinating, fresh and beautiful. Yep, I said it. Beautiful. Her style may not be my style but I recognize beauty, in all forms, when I see it; I think we all do but some of us may be resistant because it isnt us. I have traveled around the world from the day I was born until 11 years ago when I retired from the Navy. Ive seen beauty in all its forms. Ive seen the beauty of an old Japanese man, stooping to remove his shoes, carefully washing his face and hands with ice-cold well water and reverently entering the gardens surrounding the Kamakura Buddha. Ive seen the beauty of a South Korean woman, a national treasure (yes, South Korea has people who are deemed national treasures!), hunched over stunning embroidery, her gnarled fingers flying to create fabulous pictures in thread while sitting in the middle of Kyongbok Palace, the morning sun bathing her in light. Ive seen my third-oldest niece, one week after she was born, in Viernheim, Germany, sleeping quietly on her side, her skin so smooth and soft, I just became mesmerized at stroking her little arms and legs. Ive seen a young French woman, working tirelessly in a bakery, as the dawn broke, while doing an early walk to the Place de lEtoile. Ive seen my friend, Aqat, a medical doctor from Sudan, dancing, her long braids flying, her smooth, dark skin glowing, her teeth so perfect and white. In any friend I have, I have seen beauty, in all its forms. I may not be certified in judging beauty but I am certainly qualified to know it when I see it because Ive had the opportunity to see it all over the globe. The Japanese even have a reverence for beauty in imperfection, wabi-sabi. Though they apply it to objects or art, I like to apply it to humans too. The concept is based on three realities: 1) Nothing lasts (we all will die); 2) Nothing is finished (we age and we are constantly learning) and 3) Nothing is perfect. Going with that concept, then, who can really judge what beauty is? I think people need to get away from this all or nothing kind of thinking. As a Black woman, from the time I was a kid, there was this pursuit of European beauty wrapped up in my rituals. My mom pressed our hair with a hot comb to make it straight. As a teen, I had no choice but to use makeup designed for White women because there was none for Black women until I was in college. Imagine the joy of not having to use baby-blue eyeshadow or pale pink lipstick or finding a foundation that matched my skin, perfectly. The Navy had European beauty standards firmly entrenched in their uniform regulations, up until this year. Can you believe I was gigged on an inspection, at Officers Candidate School, because I wore pantyhose that were my flesh tone instead of a White womans flesh tone? Yes! The inspecting officer said flesh tone meant White! My hair is super curly. My gene markers made it so when I was conceived so there was nothing I could do about it, though I tried. My skin is dark, soft and very sensitive, particularly on my face. Nothing I could do about that gene marker either and wouldnt want to. Yet, Im going to be judged on beautiful things I cant or shouldnt change. I defy that judgment. Im old enough and strong enough to give the finger to that judgment. I know beauty when I see it. Its in me, its in you, its in every person ever born. Goodness knows, human beings are very imperfect but theres beauty in that imperfection. We may not see the outer or inner beauty but its there if we look for it. Im sure Solange Knowles could care less about what people think of her wedding. She did it her way and thats what matters. We should all be free to do beauty our way, without censure or criticism. For 2015, thats my goal. Im done with conventional ideals of beauty. Im going to look for the understated elegance of wabi-sabi in everyone and everything I see. Rant done.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Nov 2014 13:31:36 +0000
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