So I walked into this place called Wizards of the Coast... They did all that gaming store stuff. And I was getting off of work at UBS where I was a Junior Risk Analyst and reporting officer. And I am there looking up at these rpg books. I was researching a game I wanted to develop with a fantasy theme and a space setting. I choose on that day a Vernian styled cosmology. And this guy walked up to me and said Hey you look dont look like the kinda guy who would game. Now I was in a suit and tie, carrying my portfolio. And I looked at this person and said to him. Yeah, I do. And went back to looking at the books. Now I must admit I was a bit weirded out but ya know something... I dont judge so easily. Well the guy continued... So what games do you play? And I explained what those were. So what you looking for? Now here is where I go what is this guy about. I mean Good lord. So he introduces himself and I myself and his friend Dave Bruno aka Crack Monkey. We get into a little back n forth on how to pronounce his name. I mean have you seen my name? I am pretty much a stickler for that stuff and I do not think he ever had a person get his name right and not be of his culture. And I proceed to tell them my plan. Little did I know on that day I would be wrapped up in the drama that ensued. Now understand, I am a gamer. But I am also that guy who likes to go dancing, hang with DJs and drive between Boston and DC. I have girls hands in me pants Gerrard can vouch for that. But I like Star Trek, I work with computers, I have acted on stage and off broadway opera. I even directed some performances. I had a great voice according to some like my cuz Rose! I have lost a lot of my range due to my cancer side effects, I am working on fixing that. i try to be renaissance as possible and by that I do not mean Ren Faire, although that too. I was new in town and I said hell why not. Maybe these guys coudl be like my old crew in Charleston. Lanny, Ryan, or Joseph Kyle. I mean hey you cannot be close minded, and we could geek out on occasion. So lets go grub and chat. So taking these underage fellas a drinking or hanging out for thsi game called Magic...no I do not play since like that one time with my mega deck of rare cards. I helped out this little store. Fixing the financial spreadsheet report, tweaking the LAN, reducing the shrink losses (aka thieving bastards), organizing the damn Magic events with a formal system. Helping that guy and the crew at that location out in any way I could... Matt, Ray, Phil, etc etc. Never in my life did I ask for anything. It is what I do. Here I am working at this HUGE company, and many more after it, and I am next thign I know going to these LARPs because I didnt want to let a brotha down. While there I created this cool idea called the Domari. Which became Khalwa. Which is now the Saga of the Khal-wahuddin. And to have to go through the pillory (A tool used to publicly shame and punish) as of the last few years is quite alarming. Now I admit I am not as nice as I used to be in 2001. You know when I was writing resumes, buying food or clothes for people, paying for people to attend functions, etc etc. But I think that was it. I had drained myself of so much to ever so often watch as people would tell me off on occasion. Not for being wrong, but for being right and they didnt want to hear it. NOw new friends met have to go through a burned out husk of an old skool atruistic person. Listen I am not the kind of guy who runs around blowing smoke up your ass or tells you that you are the shit only after calling you a loser in many a backroom discussion. Nor am I the guy who would let you fail and not be there for ya even after you gave me so much shit. But it is amazing that a person can go from being thought of as kind, open, and caring to being an autistic, mentally deranged, world domination nut, who seeks to ruin people just because we had a falling out. I mean has anyone known me to actually get upset simpky because of something that happened that dy alone? Or did I try on numerous occasions to work things out and state the difficulty, to have someone think I was some person begging to be used or taken for granted. I do not viciously attack people when they make mistakes. I sit down and try to see where the folly occurred and remedy. I do not chase you down to MAKE you do what you said you would. I merely remind you of the fact you were and you failed to even try to do as promised. I then try to avoid that next time. I also do not let bygones be bygones and still break bread with you. We have issues we have to work them out. Telling people that I do not like them for me...that is messed up. Let me do that. PS even worse when that is NOT true. And knowing this is just me putting some context in a rumor mill that has begun starting up again. And again those who share the circles know how to gossip this chain back to its source. Which is why this is here. Just because it is on FB and the way you do it is Before Technology aka the internet is no different. Chatting this up in backrooms, triangulating you peers, or crying about how wronged you are to color me an evil hearted person... Demanding etiquette and not having any in private or special friends circles is hypocrisy. You cannot have it both ways. Not with me anyway. Because that is who I am. I am a to your face kinda person. So here is to the reality. I can be explosive and passionate. But I am not unilaterally hurtful. BUt if that is all you got. That is it. Everything hinges on that right there. You might need to come again. In a world full of violent, gun toting lunatics... Rapists, misogynists and narcisstists... A place where people are not honest and smile in your face but piss on your rep... In a world where dog eat dog is in fashion... In a world of puffed up grandiloquent speeches.... At least you can see me coming. A majority of my words are simple even if my thoughts complex. At least you know I am yelling because I am frustrated and why and I will seek you out to fix it shortly thereafter. I think my track record is known to those who know it. So I am not too worried unless you have a personal beef or are afraid to stand up to deceptions where context is left out. And if you think when I retreat to my basement it is to do evil... Well I retreat to my basement so as not to devalue myself to a baser being. I know my limits, so I take a break. I do not dump my stuff on people. Which changes today. I am going to just be honest about my feelings. So if I hug you before I say can you stop... Well it is because I love ya, and I want to keep it going. Not because I want you to kiss my ass and bow before my greatness. I am good. And note I never toss you to the curb...I let you go. Whose got your back? No really...
Posted on: Sat, 31 May 2014 13:00:16 +0000
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