So I was challenged by Lecia Smith to post 5 photos I feel (or felt) beautiful in. Made all the more challenging by the fact that not only am I not photogenic and rarely smile, but Im camera phobic - so there are precious few to choose from. But here I am. 1- 1996, holding Tyler at the beach. I was beautiful because I was young and naive and despite my life to that point, still had so much hope for the future. 2 - 1998, holding Tarra in the NICU at Childrens Hospital. I was beautiful, not because I was so skinny (though, at 120lbs this was the skinniest Id ever been...and I was barely healthy) - but because I was so happy despite being homeless, with a toddler living with my mother and a newborn in intensive care. 3 - 2011, holding Izzy, at Danielas over my birthday. Beautiful because I may not be the best mother... I fail my children regularly, and I have stumbled in some way, every day for the last 19 years I have been a mother... but because I was, at that moment, in the moment, and enjoying my life. 4 - 2009-Standing with Jason at his moms house for Thanksgiving, I worried at the time this was taken, that I was unattractive. I had lost so much weight so quickly that I had what I termed elephantitis of the skin... it was saggy and baggy, and my already smallish breasts had shrunk even more... but for the first time I was starting to feel comfortable in that saggy skin, and I felt beautiful, as if, for the first time in a long time, I started seeing me the way everyone else always said they saw me, even though I kept saying I was too skinny to feel comfortable. I was smaller in this photo than I was in the 1998 photo, even though I weighed 20 pounds more, which made me feel weird. 5 - 2013 - Sitting with Rachael on the deck of a cruise ship, having a wonderful time - and for once, being happy without obsessing over how I looked in a photo - just flat out enjoying myself enough to really smile without having to force it. And now Im supposed to tag people to post 5 of their own photos that they feel/felt beautiful in... Valerie, Rachael, Leslie, Bebe, Katie... youre up!
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 04:11:50 +0000
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