So crazy. About a year ago this was my absolute favorite song, I blasted it any time I could, like 20 times a row in my car every time I drove. I couldnt figure out why I was so into it, like all I knew anyways was the chorus, it seemed to me like just a sappy love song, only super upbeat, with maximum get stuck in your head potential. Only just now it came up on my Itunes and its the first time I really paid attention to the lyrics. In a weird way this was kind of my song with my ex, when I hear it I think of the beginning when I was falling in love and how perfect this song felt for it, and then I think of all the hell I went through and what it became, and Its just sad. But tonight I realized just how perfect its always been, its not a sappy love song at all, its struggling with loving someone so much and letting them lie to you, and hurt you and taking all the blame onto yourself and needing to walk away, but being almost to weak. Like if that person were to choose you at any moment youd go back because all in all you just want them so bad, and then finally coming to terms with it all and feeling your heart slowly close them out, its passionate and painful. Its weird how music can actually act as closure for me in moments like this. Ive moved on, still not ready for anything serious anytime soon because my ability to trust or even feel for anyone in that way has been basically incinerated. but my heart has finally healed enough to know I would never for even a second want this person back. I have such higher standards for myself now. The past genuinely just acts as a lesson learned, and Im grateful for that.
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 09:30:21 +0000
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