So i never thought, that it wouldve come so far... Today 1 year ago Viktoria who was a sister, daughter, girlfriend, cousin, friend and a loving mother past away. Today one year ago I got woken up by Kevin in the early morning being told that the person I loved the most died. I was still dreaming i thought. I couldnt believe him first. I didnt want to. I thought it wouldve been some really really silly and not funny joke. I went downstair and I was nearly going to fall over. I couldnt believe that MY one and ONLY Mother died. I was so fxcking depressed. But anyways, because I couldnt believe Kevin I phoned the place where mommy was at. I started crying while I was talking. I was heartbroken and my heart was beating so fast. I really couldnt think that exactly that person who we loved the most died. I wasnt even prepared for it. The day before she died I decided to visit her. I felt this really bad feeling while I was sitting next to her and holding her hand. I just felt like something is going to happen. I just didnt know it was, that she would die. Kevin always told me when I was younger that I should spent every minute I get with her because I could maybe regret it if I wouldnt do it. Anyways. I had problems sleeping because I had a really bad feeling so I just forced myself not to worry and go to sleep. Anyways.. Before me and Kevin were going to take a taxi, he asked me what Im thinking about.. I said I dont know, a cactus maybe..I was listening to this disturbing song that made me cry. Anyways, the women in the taxi was trying to have a small talk with me but every 5th word I took, I tried not to cry but I still tried. I couldnt tho. Anyways we were there and mommies skin was ice cold like now and she looked like a doll to me. I was so scared. Idk what else to say but it was like the worst day of my entire life. I know how much peace she found but I was angry, depressed, anxious.. I said stuff to her for 5min and I held her hand while I was looking up, hopeing she would hear me. When I looked in her face several times, I hoped for her to magically open her eyes. But no, never happened.. Anyways.. I kissed her cold cheek and we all walked out..I also asked for a lock of hair and a thumb print for something to remember. Even if we all only remember positive moments with and of her. So as we walked out the elevator opened and 2 people who were dressed black in black pushed her coffin. And on the coffin there was her name on it. I broke down and Kevin tried to hold me but he couldnt.. I was lying on the floor crying and I couldnt stop it.. At that moment I really realized that she was dead. It was a real bad timing..as I got up I didnt talk very much I just wanted to get home and sleep. But yeah we ate something in Salzburg in a Chinese restaurant even if we werent hungry at all. Before when we were going to mom, Kevin told me there will be many coincidences that I will notice. In this Chinese restaurant we were at, there was a cactus standing on the table and I never noticed it because mommy was in my mind.. Kevin showed me it and I was thinking: Coincidence, coincidence, oh i hate coincidence.. We were eating and I was about to cry again but I tried to keep myself back... We both were in a real bad mood.. Anyways we were taking a taxi back home again..The taxi driver had his radio on and there were adverts playing and a man said something with antibiotics.. Kevin pointed it out to me again.. I was like: fxck my life.. (The night before mom died, a man who works there told me that she aint it a good stable atm and she would need antibiotics but the doctor wouldve have to seen mom the next day because it was Sunday) Yeah.. So um.. I dont know what else to say.. I had a few more breakdowns in school after like a month or so.. Mommy found her peace and she is taking care of us now.. We always will love this woman.. She had so much strength.. Even in bad times shed try to help others.. I miss her.. We all do.. But life continues on.. We gotta get thru this world.. It can be full of good or bad luck.. You know, my mom told me when her grandmother died who I also knew, that I should look into the sky were all the stars are shining bright, that the most brightest star is my moms grandmother... I imagined it.. And she also told me that she got up to the sky with an elevator.. Cute right? I still believe in it now.. And I think that mommy did it the same. 10.11.71 - 18.11.13..
Posted on: Tue, 18 Nov 2014 16:27:54 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015