So over the past month I have had at least 3 people unlike the page. I have always struggled, as most of you know, with the my own sense of being not enough. So of course, I take people unliking my page personally. I also worry about offending people. And worry that people think I believe i am actually right :), when in fact I am only sharing my thoughts, struggles, and even questions. I suppose I could see the rejection as a badge of honor (I am being persecuted for my faith, therefor I must be doing something right). Or I could see it (perversely) as a sign that people see through me and realize that I am actually spiritually bankrupt! I had the same concept when I was a pastor. I had this idea in my head, about what pastors were like, shaped by some powerful books about people of faith. I didnt measure up. And so always struggled with having a title, and a role, that seem far beyond me. One of my favorite poems is The Imposter Fantasy by Jules Feiffer “I felt like a fraud, So I learned to fly an airplane. At 50,000 feet I thought: ‘A fraud is flying an airplane.’ So I crossed the Atlantic in a rowboat. I docked at Cherbourg and thought: ‘A fraud has crossed the Atlantic in a rowboat.’ So I took a space shot to the moon. On the trip home I thought: ‘A fraud has circled the moon.’ So I took a full page ad in the newspaper and Confessed to the world that I was a fraud! I read the ad and I thought: ‘A fraud is pretending to be honest.’” But then perhaps we all, mostly feel a bit this way. At any rate, thank you, to all of you who hang around, and accept my page for what it is, a journal of my own inner pondering I make no claim to have the answers If I act like I do, I apologize If I have stepped on your spiritual toes, or been a stumbling block, I am sad for I am thankful for all those who limp down the road of life by my side Peace SK
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 04:55:27 +0000
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